Life Includes Silence
'Silence is golden' is a Chinese proverb that left a deep impression on me during my childhood. Many years ago, when I was still a student, I saw a teacher angrily stomp on a football on the playground, because I was sorry for the ball. I shouted like an old woman, 'You're a psychopath, such a good football, why do you stomp it flat?' The teacher was furious, he grabbed my hand and took me to the office, while walking, he said, 'You've messed up, you dare to scold a teacher, you're a psychopath?' I was made to stand for a long time in the office, but regretting was useless. I didn't think the teacher was a psychopath, but those three words had already spilled out like water. They could no longer be retracted. I could only vow to myself that no matter how anyone trampled on all the footballs in the world, I wouldn't interfere.
In many occasions, I carefully count the words in my mouth like a meticulous accountant counting coins in a box. This has given many people a chance to see my silence. Few people regard silence as charm, more people face silent people with annoyance or boredom. When a silent person visits a silent friend, the scene will be like a silent movie from the 1930s. Frankly, I often stage such silent movies with similar friends at home. When the other person said goodbye, both of them had the same feeling of relief on their faces. An afternoon or evening, they both felt that they had wasted time.
Time and life change a person. In recent years, I have involuntarily experienced my own changes. These changes may begin with the beginning of family life, or may be influenced by several 'talkative' friends. Anyway, I now started to speak a lot. At first, it was out of need, my wife needed to discuss family affairs, national affairs, and many other useful and useless things. My daughter needed me to tell her many fabricated myths, needed me to explain the meaning of advertisements and signs on the street. Several sharp-tongued and open-minded friends needed me to cooperate. I could not remain silent, only to smile blankly and nod. I had to express my opinion.
Need became a habit. No matter who was talking to me, I always tried to say more than the other person. Strangely, I gained a certain happiness in continuously speaking. This happiness was previously unattainable. This feeling of happiness is a little blurry, a little like the joy of opening a faucet, and a little like the joy of a deaf and mute person singing. When I speak a lot, sometimes I make jokes. Once, a friend asked someone, 'What day is the upcoming Sunday?' People were at a loss for words. This is a real joke, but I always thought that friend was cute because he talks too much. Talking too much is the joy of talking and everyone's joy. Even a silent person will be infected by this joy and make a contained laugh.
Learning to speak is, in a sense, learning to live. I remember a few years ago, a visitor from afar came to visit me, and I was nervous and anxious. I chatted with him. When the guest said goodbye, he said to me, 'You are very talkative.' I was surprised, then I felt happy. This happiness is like a newly learned fledgling's joy of taking flight. Yes, birds must fly. A healthy person must speak. This is life.
Life is not just about talking, life also includes silence. Sometimes I reflect on my silent youth and youth with a sense of melancholy. I think many people are silent for various reasons. Some people are silent because they don't want to speak, some people are silent because they are not good at speaking, some people are silent because they don't know how to speak. Silent people treat silence with silence. But silence is like a lock, which will always be opened by a key. This is also life.
