Eight Toxic Relationship Patterns

While bad relationships,

will exhaust and harm both parties,

suffering in the relationship!

1. A struggling relationship

You feel in a relationship for a long time: only you are working hard, feeling powerless or trapped, then this relationship will be difficult to maintain.

Because the relationship is for both of you. If a love or marriage is only led by one person, the other person in the relationship will lose their freedom. And freedom is the need we can't balance most truly in love.

2. Dependent relationships

Love is mutual dependence, but this dependence shouldn't make you lose yourself, lose the right to be happy. If your love revolves around him 24 hours a day, pain will quickly follow.

Because the fact is: only you can accompany you 24 hours a day. If he is not there, you will feel strong loneliness and loneliness, then this dependence brings pain and loss.

You can take responsibility for your life, take responsibility for your emotions, and let him take responsibility for his emotions. Seeing each other grow in responsibility is the greatest gift love gives us.

Your happiness and survival shouldn't be built on others. If you crave to complete yourself with the other half, this also means your world will be incomplete without him. When you can't provide yourself with all the happiness, his existence becomes a matter of anxiety.

3. Comparing relationships

Whether you use accusations in the past life and partner to prove that the current relationship is good; or use accusations in the current partner to prove that you are unlucky, this is a very bad thing.

In such a relationship, you are always trying to prove, comparing with the past. This is a double loss, on the one hand, denying the past self, on the other hand, manipulating the current relationship with past mistakes.

Any relationship manipulated lacks sincerity. Sincere relationships are about accepting the past, letting bygones be bygones.

If we can't live in the present, even if we have everything now, we won't know how to cherish it. Let the past be the past, whatever it is, it's over. Now, the moment, is what determines your future.

4. Idealized relationships

We all have fantasies about 'love' and 'our other half'. These fantasies may come from childhood trauma, may come from fairy tales, may come from TV shows....

But in fact, no relationship is perfect. No one can 'forever' meet your expectations. If someone can forever meet your expectations, he is not 'really' being himself.

Before, we used to say: if you take good care of me, I will also take good care of you. Now we should say: if I take good care of myself for you, you should also take good care of yourself.

Any real relationship will never be perfect, but this doesn't mean our efforts are in vain. On the contrary, because it is not perfect, we can do something, make some effort in each other's lives.

5. Untrustworthy relationships

Marriage and love are most afraid of: deception, betrayal.

Are you honest and sincere in your marriage and love? You might say: 'I didn't lie, I just didn't tell him.' Or: 'I didn't deceive him, I just didn't want to hurt him.'

But you forgot, what attracted you to each other in the first place is honesty. Because honesty and trust are valuable, you are willing to tell him your unacceptable things, let him tolerate and comfort you.

But when did 'not saying' become a weapon to avoid quarrels? After a while you will understand, only honesty can bring the possibility of forgiveness and pardon.

6. Cold war and attack relationships

Sarcasm, reverse speech, silence, don't face conflict best, express although hidden fear, but every fear hides a hot heart of giving to the relationship. Trying to express your feelings and thoughts openly, if he really cares about the relationship, he will be willing to make some efforts for each other.

7. Emotional blackmail relationships

In love and marriage, we often see phenomena: 'I treat you well, so you must treat me well!' or 'I've done this much, why don't you do so much?' 'Because I want, you must give.' etc.

This is 'emotional blackmail'. Love and relationships are not for sale. We cannot force others to do anything because we want. In intimate relationships, all flows should be natural and willing.

We don't need to agree to everything the other person wants. Sometimes the other person's demands violate your will, you need to state your position and boundaries, try to say what you want and what you don't want, establish a comfortable line between the two of you in the relationship.

8. Cold love

Our lives are now busy: work needs time, managing relationships needs time, even eating needs time.

Many people think that after falling in love, you can just stop taking care of it, if you get tired of playing and then come back, it will be wasted. Love and relationships are not immovable property, they can't be left in place, waiting for you to get tired of playing and then come back to find them.

You need to spend enough time discussing things you care about with each other, your feelings about things, and the difficult things you can't say to each other.

The most precious thing about a relationship is that you can put time aside and be with each other. He may not be as perfect and important as you imagine, but you can witness each other and see more possibilities of love in each other's efforts.