Confucius Said Three Things, Used by Student Zisi with One Sentence to Go Viral, Becoming a Common Phrase for Many
According to Carnegie, 'One of man's inherent natures is to resist accepting criticism from others, always believing himself to be right, and liking to come up with all sorts of excuses to defend himself.' I think it's very profound.
Often, because of one word not said or one thing not done, we are criticized and criticized by those around us, but we habitually don't admit our own mistakes, but instead look for all kinds of reasons and excuses.
First, we shift the responsibility to others. When we can't stick it to others; then we look for various objective and natural reasons to explain, all for the purpose of proving, 'It's not me who did it, it's all due to it.'
This phenomenon is common in the relationship between friends, family, and spouses. It is also very obvious in workplace settings.
Therefore, Confucius said, 'Do not do and not change, it is for doing.' A person who commits a mistake and doesn't correct it is truly mistaken. Mencius, another Confucian sage, also said, 'When there is no achievement, return to oneself' and Confucius expresses the same meaning.
Later, Zisi (Zongsun Qingfu) inherited Confucius's thoughts well. In the 'Analects,' he said, 'I constantly reflect on myself three times a day; whether I am faithful and diligent when serving others; whether I am sincere when dealing with friends; whether I study and review the knowledge taught by the teacher with diligence.'
Zisi said this, allowing us to reflect on ourselves. Zisi, also known as Zongsun Qingfu, is one of Confucius's seventy-two disciples.
Perhaps the most familiar Zisi is because of the story of 'Zisi Killing Pig'.
Once, Zisi's wife was going to the market to buy things, and his son kept nagging her to go with her. His wife told him, 'Wait for my mother to return, let father kill the pig for you to eat.'
When his wife returned from the market, she found Zisi preparing to kill a pig to roast. His wife quickly stopped him and said, 'I was just joking, don't take it seriously.'
Zisi said, 'If you promise a child something, you must do it, otherwise how can the child learn to be honest?'
Zisi really killed the pig.
Zisi believed there were three major things in life: doing things, being a person, and learning.
We often think about 'I constantly reflect on myself three times a day,' and many people use it as their motto. But have you really known which three things you should reflect on?
First, 'Am I faithful and diligent when serving others?'
Sometimes people ask you for help, and it's very simple for you, but because of your carelessness or disregard, you deal with it superficially;
Because a friend encounters difficulties and seeks your help, you refuse because you're afraid of being bothered, and this matter delays your own affairs, then you find excuses and refuse, it's incorrect.
Since you promised to do something, you must do it. As the Western historian Sima Qian said in 'Records of the Grand Historian,' 'Keep your word, fulfill your promises, and be true to your commitments.' If you always disappoint people like this, good relationships will be lost over time.
According to Carnegie in 'The Psychology of Success,' 'The process of psychological maturity is a continuous process of self-discovery and self-exploration. Unless we first understand ourselves, we cannot understand others.'
In interpersonal relationships, we often pay more attention to the other person's character. It's wrong to demand more from ourselves than from others.
Zisi said, 'Am I sincere when dealing with friends?' Confucius also taught, 'When dealing with friends, be sincere; when a person is a person, sincerity is important.'
Indeed, we often emphasize 'sincerity' in daily life. However, once someone discovers your hypocrisy, they will be criticized and alienated.
After all, who doesn't want to have friends who are good and everyone is good?
Integrity is the foundation of a person's life. As 'Choosing Friends' says, 'In this world, the most respected and cherished friends of an honest person are true friends.'
Besides the two things mentioned above, what else should we reflect on?
Zisi said, 'Am I diligently studying and reviewing the knowledge taught by the teacher?' Confucius also taught in 'Analects,' 'Reviewing and learning is the key to success.'
From the surface, it means that students should go back to school to review and study the knowledge they learned in school.
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