Some children who grew up in families with limited resources, even if they have wealth as adults, find it difficult to enjoy their wealth.Especially when they see people with similar incomes to themselves, or even lower incomes, spending their money freely, this feeling of lack becomes even more prominent.

Even after becoming adults, these people have overcome their financial difficulties, but the deep-seated lack from their early years can take root as 'I don't deserve it' and 'I can't have it'.

Today, this article will analyze this mechanism of inner lack through a typical case, and how we can transform it to better enjoy the joy of wealth.

1. Why did my friend give me the plush toy after buying it? — 'Not deserving' can easily lead to 'I don't deserve it'.

I have a junior high school classmate, once we went out to play, we saw a cart selling plush toys, my friend was very interested and looked at it for a long time before buying one for 15 yuan. For us at the time, this was not a small amount. However, when we parted in the evening, he suddenly said to me, 'Let me take it home, and give it back to you later.' I was a little surprised, but immediately I understood him—we came from similar families—he worried that buying the plush toy would be criticized by his parents or see their parents' sad expressions.My friend only had the plush toy dog for a few hours before, later he never mentioned it again. It's been 20 years since, and the plush toy is still at my house, now it's my daughter's toy.

Stephen Gilligan, a PhD in psychology at Stanford University and the pioneer of the third-generation hypnosis therapy, said, 'The underlying motivation behind any surface behavior is a lack.'

My classmate now is in his 30s, and he still lives frugally. Although her income is now very high, she is uncomfortable spending money on herself, which is actually her subconscious belief that spending money on herself is a betrayal of her parents.

If we have such beliefs, even if we have wealth, we cannot be happy.3. Can the feeling of lack be eliminated? — Early experiences are like soil, and we can extract nutrients to bloom like lotus.

Happiness doesn't come from material things, but from the inner feelings. If the feeling of lack exists, it's like a big stone that presses on our hearts, hindering our happiness and joy. In fact, with certain methods, the feeling of lack can be transformed. This process may not be pleasant, and it may reveal the scars of the past, but the result will be joy.

We should be grateful and curious, and start a journey of inner healing. Only then can early experiences become nutrients to nourish us and allow us to bloom.Here are 3 suggestions: 1. Make peace with the past, thank your parents, and accept your new self; 2. Create positive experiences, start by buying things you want; 3. Contact people with abundant inner feelings, participate in beneficial activities for your body and mind.

① Make peace with the past, sincerely thank your parents, and accept your new self

In this world, no one is perfect, and we all have rebellious moments and resent our parents. From a parent's perspective, they may regret what they did for us. In fact, all their efforts were for our good, and they wanted us to be happy. We should not resent our parents, but appreciate their blessings.

When we can reconcile with the past and sincerely thank our parents, we will feel much easier. Every parent wants their children to be happy and successful, so they are willing to see us enjoy wealth. We should take the expectation of our parents as a guide to experience the joy of spending money on ourselves.

② Create positive experiences, start by buying things you want; 3. Contact people with abundant inner feelings, participate in beneficial activities for your body and mind.

If you've never tasted an apple, no matter how well I describe its sour and sweet flavor, you won't be able to understand it. Creating positive experiences is the fastest way to change. The most direct way is to start by buying things you want.

I spent a whole morning selecting a beautiful music box for myself. It's the toy I couldn't get when I was a child. Although it's been many years, the feeling of lack from my childhood still needs to be satisfied. Now you have the ability to make yourself happy, if buying things you want can be bought, why hesitate?If life early experiences have deep lack, even if they have wealth as adults, they cannot enjoy wealth. This seems related to family, but in fact, it is the belief that we create ourselves.

Only by learning from the experiences of our early years can we transform the feeling of lack and live a fulfilling life.

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Mitchell