Reading Only for Myself Brings Joy

Author: Three Mu

I like to regard reading as a perpetual pursuit, willingly devoting my remaining years to books. If I lose friends in response to reading and become reclusive, appearing impolite and lacking social grace, then there is no regret, and I would not change anything. I am willing to lose all other entertainment and the admiration of others' eyes, simply because of my limited ability, unable to divide my time for other endeavors, only to dedicate it to an ever-growing bookshelf. The income I receive is sufficient for basic needs, but it cannot be used for frugality; I willingly spend my time on reading. This is my selfishness and waste, and it is unexplained, not only unexplained but also self-justified.

I don't deliberately go to read; it's also impossible to manage in this regard. In the books, I'm just playing. There are so many places in the books, like a large garden, which hasn't been fully explored yet, let alone so many other places to go.

Confucius said, 'Go to the arts' – 'play' – and since childhood, my teacher insisted that 'work during work hours, and play during play hours'. Separating these two things for me is no different than anything interesting. Work cannot be work, and books cannot be read; they are equally uninteresting.

I often read and recite characters, and I am unwilling to put down the book to check the 'Zhai Hai'. 'Zhai Hai' is not just for flipping through, but for looking at and enjoying it; it is not simply for checking the pronunciation of a single character.

The character that cannot be read, if the meaning is truly understood, putting down the book to consult the dictionary for inspiration, the momentum will be broken; sacrificing one or the other is of course a willingness to give up the dictionary; for ordinary people, reading is a personal enjoyment and experience, and it does not matter if it is due to reading characters.

I didn't deliberately read; even the search for beautiful scenery is often difficult to find, and things that are hard to find are often frustrating.

Sometimes, I read late into the night, and then I look back – 'Hey, isn't that person standing in the lamplight? I didn't look for anyone or anything; how did I suddenly hide behind someone, creating a surprise for others?'

I've gotten lost to the point where I don't even know who I'm chasing and who is being hidden; it's all a matter of thought; the environment doesn't destroy the thought; 'Yellow Liang Dream', the East side of the window is still bright, in one day in the world, in the book for a thousand years, feeling that heaven and earth are one, and I forget myself, flowers fall and rivers flow, the heavens and humanity are intertwined. Mr. Jia complains that the 'Red Chamber Dream' should make Bao Yu 'read orthodox books', which deeply troubled Bao Yu, the natural man. Fortunately, my father is not Mr. Jia; since childhood, the books on the bookshelf, including scientific myths, social ethics, religion, love, martial arts, detective reasoning, prose, handicrafts, household affairs, magic, chemistry, astronomy, geography, poetry, ancient music, jokes, philosophy, children's rhymes, plays, essays… all gathered like a flock of birds, and my mind wandered endlessly.

In my opinion, a good book is just a good book; the form is not a problem. Some people will say this is too chaotic. This statement reminds me of a story: the two scholars, Mr. Lu and Mr. Zhang, argued about incompatible doctrines and mutually criticized each other as false, and they couldn't resolve the matter for a long time. They finally asked Confucius to mediate. Confucius descended the steps, bowed, and said, 'My way is very vast; it is unnecessary for you two gentlemen to agree. You are the true scholars that I have always admired, and I have always regarded you with respect; how can you say you are false?' The two disciples were overjoyed and left. A disciple asked, 'Master, why do you praise me so highly?' Confucius said, 'These gentlemen are deliberately flattering me; they are trying to grasp something from me.'

Reading all the books of talented people, is a great pleasure in life; in my opinion, the definition of talented people cannot be limited to only three words – literature. Of course, the library is also a place to go; expensive and rare books are often opened for reading, and people can take them to read, just not to borrow out. The library I go to is a cultural and university school, and every time I stand in front of the shelves of obscure books, someone who doesn't have the same interests quietly comes over, and we exchange glances and smile knowingly, understanding each other without words, which is a subtle joy in life.

Going to the library is not necessarily going to the library, first check the information card, and then walk along the city wall to the bookshelf, feeling that the wind is blowing through the mountains and the flowers are flying across the sky, and my heart is peaceful and calm, but also full.

The things I want to read may not be found; for example, the 'Jade History Money' published in the reign of Emperor Xuanzong of the Northern Song Dynasty is unknown and hidden on a shelf; it's a difficult task to find. After searching and searching, this book doesn't appear, but another book does, and in the evening, it's still a pleasure.

The library has set up reading rooms with tables and chairs, inviting people to sit and read upright; it's a proper way to read. This way of reading and books have a prescribed posture, and this posture is something we can't live without for our entire lives, and it's not frightening. It's a pity that leaning against to read, lying on the floor to read, lying on the bed to read, sitting under the tree to read, eating while reading – these joys cannot be experienced in the library. I like music, but I don't like to go to music concerts, mostly for this reason.

The library is already good enough; we cannot ask for more. Just because my personal preference is afraid of being stiff, serious, and illuminated by fluorescent lights, I prefer to read at night; if I sit in the library and use a small desk lamp and a tea set to read, it's a good ending. The idea keeps spinning in my head, and the sense of responsibility, the sense of duty, and the sense of time don't release me. A lifetime is spent living for a person and for another person – when can we live for our own interests? When? Do we have to wait until death before we can do it? If the answer is yes, then I will not borrow books from others to bring home. Borrowed books are guests; we fear that the host is not attentive enough, and we look and look, and still it's just a piece of paper; we carefully turn it over, and it's still the same as before – we can't enter a state of enlightenment. I also don't like people borrowing books from me. Every time I get a good book, I buy ten at a time, and if someone wants to borrow it, I give one away as a gift; this is a pleasant exchange between guests and hosts.

My books and toothbrushes are not borrowed out; it's really difficult to ask, people borrow toothbrushes.

People say to travel ten thousand miles and read ten thousand books, but they divide it in half. In fact, traveling is a good opportunity to read and learn, and it's a waste to divide it like this.