Compassion Meets Negative People: You Should Be Kind, But Also Have a Strong Presence
From a young age, my parents told me to be a kind person, but they never taught me how to be kind.
As a child, I thought kindness meant not doing bad things; as I got older, I thought kindness meant doing good deeds; as I grew up, I thought kindness meant accommodating others.
Now, I don't even know what kindness is. I might be kind to someone, perhaps it's kindness, but some people have feet and hands, have the ability to earn a living, but they refuse to be self-sufficient, wanting to live off handouts.
What kind of kindness is this? Is it helpful or harmful? I don't know, I just know we should be kind, but kindness isn't weakness, it's not a compromise without principles.
Kindness is not weakness and humility; kindness is not a principle-less concession.
In the book 'Your Kindness Needs to Have Sharpness 2', there is such a sentence: We can be kind, but we can't always be hurt and wounded. We should maintain our good intentions, but our softness shouldn't be the bottom line for others to abuse.
Don't you have that feeling? Those who are bullied are usually good people. They don't want to resist others, they just hold everything in their hearts, and don't say anything.
When I was bullied at school, I would just tell the teacher, mostly I would just endure being bullied, never retaliating, never refusing, but inside I really didn't like being bullied.
When I was bullied at work, I wouldn't tell the leader, I wouldn't refuse, but in my heart I wanted to say ten thousand no's, but in action I would say: Okay, no problem.
These people often feel very tired and no one thinks they are kind. They just think people take advantage of them, they never fight back, they never refuse requests.
They help others, but they don't receive gratitude, maybe they will be grateful at first, but over time, they feel it's their due.
Dear, kindness isn't to allow others to control you. You deserve kindness, and you can earn others' kindness, but don't abuse yourself, otherwise people will abuse you even more.
Kindness is not weakness and humility; kindness is not a principle-less concession.
Everything has principles, kindness also has principles. Do your own things, defend your own boundaries, don't infringe on others' boundaries, and don't let others infringe on your boundaries. This is the key to happiness and maintaining good relationships.
Many of us can't refuse others, when we see someone falling into the water, as long as we hear the words 'help', even if we can't swim, we will jump in. This isn't kindness, because you can't save others, and you'll put yourself in danger.
From a young age, my mother often told me the story of the Farmer and the Snake, and I liked to listen to it. At that time, I only knew that it was a story, without thinking about whether the farmer should save the snake.
Now many people are like the farmer – kind-hearted and generous, but without principles. They exhaust themselves, only to be taken advantage of, and sometimes they even bite you back.
This kind of kindness is needed? This kind of kindness is dangerous; this kind of kindness is nurturing a vicious wolf; this kind of kindness is rescuing a devil.
We all hope that people in this world are kind. Some people want everyone to be kind, some people want everyone to be benevolent, and some people want their kindness to be rewarded with kindness.
Because we want fairness and equality, but we often fail because of our lack of principles, leading people to think we can bear everything.
Dear, kindness is not a principle-less concession, but it's about fairness. If the other person is ungrateful, you don't need to be kind to him; if the other person doesn't understand you, you don't need to be kind to him, otherwise your kindness is nurturing a villain.
Kindness is not weakness and humility; your kindness must be able to withstand the complexity of people's hearts. We live not to satisfy everyone, and we don't have to cater to everyone. We should maintain basic kindness and not sacrifice ourselves for 'bad people'.
As we've said, it's not to tell everyone not to choose kindness, kindness is a good virtue, we should continue to maintain this kindness, be a kind person.
However, your kindness shouldn't be your weakness, it shouldn't be used to control you, it shouldn't be a principle-less concession, it shouldn't be your humility, it shouldn't be used to harm you.
You should maintain basic kindness, but you also need to have sharpness, you need to have your own principles, you also need to be willing to refuse.
May you master the world while still remaining unworldly, and don't be afraid to give without being taken advantage of!
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