I want revenge, harm my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend

Sept. 19, 2025, 6:31 a.m. Essays

Q: Uncle, if you really, really liked someone and gave up a lot of important things for him, but he hurt you and you can't let go, can't forget, what should I do? Should I bless him and his new girlfriend?

A: 'Do you know the best way to get back at someone?'

The best way to get back at someone is to not become like him.

Even if that person has done so much harm to you, even if the hurt is so great, you shouldn't choose to hurt him, you should destroy him, otherwise you are no different from him, and you will only make yourself more painful.

Why do so many people break up and always remember the hurt they've experienced?

Because we often amplify the feeling of the hurt and ignore the happiness of being together.

If we just focus on the hurt and ignore the happiness of being together, our worries and hurts will be magnified, and we'll only exhaust ourselves.

But the purpose of being in a relationship with someone is to experience happiness, and if we only focus on the hurt, our original intentions for loving someone disappear, which is why we only leave behind hatred.

Remember the happy times, let go of the hurt, and it will be easier to let go of a relationship.

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Discovering that your partner has cheated? What to do when your partner has hooked up with someone else?

I believe many people's first reaction is anger, they want to retaliate, even want to destroy him.

It's normal to feel this way, because there are other ferocious beasts invading our territory in primitive society, we will also be angry and fight with the other party.

The self-protection mechanism of a person is very strong, especially when it comes to someone you love the most betraying you.

But will retaliating make you feel better? Some people will feel guilty even after truly retaliating, it's just a fleeting feeling, maybe just for a few seconds, or even just an instant.

But the feeling of guilt can last a lifetime. Think about the people you have hurt in the past, would you still feel guilty today?

We have said that the best way to get back at someone is to not become like him.

Choosing to take violent action is even more sinful, because you intentionally retaliate, while he just wants to satisfy himself.

I don't think the way to fight a demon is to become a demon, it's definitely not desirable.

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So, what kind of method can reduce the pain?

Bless him and his new girlfriend, acknowledge that his life will no longer have him, bravely cut off ties with him and his life.

After all, you also yearn for a sweet love, investing your energy in the next relationship is the best.

Although it's difficult to accept, you will eventually face it, right?

Instead of staying angry in bed, it's better to bless them and start a new life.

In life, only letting go and forgiveness will make things better.

I hope you never lack the courage to start over.

Besides, a sweet love is still waiting for you, isn't it?

Uncle Mu Lin: A warm, interesting, and highly principled uncle who will accompany you through all the unpleasant times. If you have doubts or worries, private message me, Uncle will answer you.

#breakup#