Study Notes – 'The Art of Speaking by Cai Kangyong', May we all become warm and lovable people
1. Turn praise over to others, it's more persuasive
2. You are what you say
3. Don't create trouble for others, people don't exist to serve you
4. Silence is normal, it's more enriching than incessant chatter, and the present is interesting
5. Give unnecessary victories to the other person – everyone is the king of their own territory. If you insist on the other person being wrong, it won't help the progress of things.
6. On dates, respect the other person, don't make it about lavish gifts and meals
7. When topics stall, switch them
8. If a topic gets stuck, change it
9. Ask questions specifically (using yes/no or multiple-choice questions to gauge the other person's interests). It's easier to answer when people feel understood. (Everyone wants to be understood.)
10. Even the closest people live in their own worlds. During conversations, everyone wants to talk about their feelings. Try to avoid using 'I' and instead use 'you' or 'he' to shift the focus onto the other person, allowing them to speak freely
11. Value and explore, even challenge others' opinions, rather than blindly agreeing or being evasive.
12. Don't discuss deep topics – avoid sensitive subjects such as finances, health, relationships, children's grades, political views, religious beliefs, disliked celebrities, and dietary choices. Only delve into these once a strong connection has been established.
