Classic Funny Jokes: Couldn't Resist

There's a piece of clothing on the online shopping mall, with three reviews below, two of which are mid-rated and one is a positive review.

Mid-review content is approximately: 'It's not the same as the picture, there's color difference, it's unattractive to wear.'

Positive review content is: 'Bought it for my classmate, she looks ugly, I'm very satisfied!'

02

There's a post on a forum asking: 'After killing a cockroach with insecticide, why does the cockroach appear more frequently?'

Someone replied: 'Your family member is gone, aren't you worried?'

03

Just received a phone call from a stranger, a woman, who said: 'Hello! Congratulations, you won the second prize of 300,000!'

I didn't speak, she laughed first: 'Sorry, I'm just starting this line, it's my first time to scam, I didn't intend to.'

Then she hung up, leaving me holding the phone and bewildered in the wind…

04

A phrase you always dread hearing:

When I was young, my mother used to scare me by saying 'Old Wolf is coming!'

After going to school, my classmates used to scare me by saying 'Teacher is coming!'

After working, my colleagues used to scare me by saying 'Boss is coming!'

At a party with friends, they used to scare me by saying 'Wife is coming!'

Haha, that's so clever!

05

If you marry the right person, you have Valentine's Day every day.

If you marry the wrong person, you have Qingming Festival every day.

If you marry a lazy person, you have Labor Day every day.

If you marry a wealthy person, you have Spring Festival every day.

If you marry a flirtatious person, you have Singles Day every day.

If you marry a childish person, you have Children's Day every day!

If you marry a liar, you have April Fool's Day every day!

If you don't marry, you can celebrate whatever festival you want!

Friendly reminder: If it's not your dish, don't peek in the pot lid, if it's not your love, don't rely on it.

06

One day the geography teacher asked a student, 'Where does the river flow?'

A student stood up and sang: 'The river flows east!'…

The teacher didn't pay attention to him, then asked: 'How many stars are there in the sky?'

That student then sang: 'The stars in the sky are part of the Big Dipper!'…

The teacher got angry: 'Get out!'

Student: 'If I walk, I'll walk!'

The teacher helplessly: 'Are you sick?'

Student: 'I have it, I have it, I have it all!'

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