Sympathy for Slightly Overweight Girls

July 4, 2025, 5:36 a.m. Essays

I once said in discussing this topic: 'Fat girls get used to being bored and sad early on.'

Later, I realized that this sentence might have been wrong. Some people really don't get sad.

In the past few days, I've chatted with 5 of those people and asked them how they maintain their slightly overweight figure.

Before the interview, I was a little skeptical: They won't just say a bunch of optimistic reasons, making it seem like self-deception?

But later, each of them convinced me.

They definitely experienced the pain of being overweight, and later they didn't feel that pain, it wasn't about resignation, but about not considering thinness desirable.

Young people don't know what they want to do when they're young, and it's easy to be influenced by the 'good' standards recognized by others, including 'thin'.

But when you find the life you want and establish your own 'good' standards, being overweight may no longer matter.

This is actually a 'finding yourself' process.

They talked about dieting, but it wasn't just about dieting.

More and more girls are starting to accept their slightly overweight figures with confidence.

Overweight girls don't need to be pitied. They don't need it anyway.

When you're in school, you can easily be affected by small things and feel upset.

Liking a boy, if he says 'Look at how long your legs are,' as he walks past, I used to feel very self-conscious.

I can't wear the same clothes as my roommate, but my roommate looks great when she wears them, and I feel like a big deal.

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I was very cautious at that time and didn't dare to take the initiative, for fear of being noticed.

People thought I was a 'pleasant fat girl' at that time. I felt it wasn't a good thing, just a comforting word.

Of course, I tried to diet. I cut out meals, did a lot of exercise, and even tried insane workouts for a month before giving up because I was in so much pain.

I was so frustrated that I only lost 135 pounds after a month.

Now, looking back, that was when I was still lacking a cognitive system and a complete identity. When I didn't know what I wanted, it was easy to be influenced by external standards.

After graduating from university, I discovered that the dimensions of comparison had no foundation.

When I focus on pursuing what I want to do, I'm not as affected by appearance anxiety.

Now I do file management, write reports, organize research and discussions, and it's a meaningful job.

Plus, my company is very busy and my colleagues are all diligent.

It feels like retailers want to sell you things only if you're young, beautiful, and thin.

But true...

Finding yourself is not about it.Now I weigh 140 pounds, and it's unhealthy for me to be too overweight. But I've become more relaxed and accepting of my personality, my temper, and my belly fat.

Life is more than just weight.

At the time, my ex-boyfriend told me that among all the girls he had slept with, the one who was the lightest was 110 pounds, but she was 1.7 meters tall.

I was 1.65 meters and 118 pounds.

I realized at that time that all the men who didn't mind overweight girls were just talking.

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Of course, I know that now, but it wasn't the case at that time.

But at that time, I couldn't accept it, 90 kilograms was very important, and I had to lose weight.My parents kept telling me this for years...

'Losing weight successfully = having willpower and determination' became ingrained in my mind step by step.

After enrolling in the Fat Person Training Camp, I promised myself that I would lose 20 pounds in a month.

As a result, the coach had no experience and conducted high-intensity training without considering the consequences. After 20 days, I developed a partial dislocation of the elbow joint and was warned by the hospital not to continue high-intensity training, let alone running.

I was completely desperate. I had to give up dieting and started eating indiscriminately, resulting in a disorder of eating and a bad mood.

However, after I got my PhD, I had a different understanding of 'willpower'.

Everyone around me was strong and didn't want to fall behind, so I went to the library every day to study and conduct experiments.

Once, when writing a paper on 'cognitive neural mechanisms,' it was snowing heavily and the snow was waist-high. I drove to school in the morning and stayed until the library closed, and then I went home.

Sometimes I had to sleep in the office when it snowed, and I was grateful that I could complete the work.

When I finally published my first paper as the first author in SCI, everyone in my office stood up and applauded me.

At that time, I realized that losing 20 pounds didn't bring me the same level of satisfaction.

Before 22 years old, I was very defensive and didn't want to be judged.People would say to me, 'You're so tall,' when they first saw me, and I felt self-conscious because of my weight.

My classmate said to me, 'You have a big appetite,' when I ate a whole bowl of noodles, and I didn't feel comfortable.

I hated it when people said, 'You'll look so much better when you lose weight.'

solo

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