How to Deal with a Non-Romantic Man and Have a Romantic Relationship

Sept. 22, 2025, 2:18 a.m. Essays

We met 28 days ago, and we teach each other's things.

He said, every time I tell him about my family, about my childhood, he's jealous, feels like he's a head shorter than me, and thinks that others' good things and happiness are not something he can have, because he can't accept those things, but everything I say from my mouth, even if it's not happy, he thinks it's what he desires and yearns for, because those things shaped me, and I'm better than him in any way.

This guy is a person who is not patient with others, even less willing to share himself with me, so I always tell him, if what I do or ask for makes you uncomfortable or annoys you, just refuse, I don't need your flattery.

We climbed a mountain together, and when he saw I was weaker than him, he always carried the backpack for me, and he's a big man who put on light equipment, and he would always take the initiative to say to me when we were halfway up, 'I'll carry it for a while.'

Later, after I exercised more with him, he thought he'd improved his strength, so he started carrying the backpack himself, but every time we got to halfway, I'd take the initiative to say, 'Let me carry it for a while.'

The best performance was when we climbed a mountain with a classmate together, we were so tired that we couldn't climb any further, covered in sweat, panting heavily, and didn't want me to carry the backpack, and he blurted out, 'It's nothing, nothing, I can do it, I wouldn't let a girl carry a backpack!' It was really acting his life.

When we were going down the mountain, this guy suddenly said, 'You are different from the many girls I've ever known.'

I guessed he was about to start showering me with praise again, so I listened attentively.

'You're so generous, you're willing to accept my imperfections, and even comfort me,'

I thought to myself, 'It's not about being generous, it's about accepting that some things are beyond our control, the more you understand human nature, the more you can accept life's uncertainties.'

So I stopped complaining about others, and even when I was disappointed or sensitive, I just swallowed it down, learned to not blame anyone, and my emotions were no longer expressed, but I still couldn't stop the ups and downs, but I learned to keep it to myself, just lowering my head and quietly letting things go.

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'When we are together, we're to take a certain identity to take care of you, not to obtain anything from you.'

We watched a literary film together, and he said, 'I wouldn't be able to watch such a film, it would be boring, and I'd rather watch action movies.'

I asked him, 'Wouldn't you feel unhappy if I insisted on watching this with you?'

He said, 'No, it's okay, when I'm with you, time seems to slow down, and I can sit down and appreciate the feelings expressed in the slow films, you're like a voice saying 'Hold on, hold on.'

We went swimming together, and he didn't eat, I bought him some snacks and drinks, and he threw the trash into my hands without opening the drink, and he handed me the drink to open for him!

I asked him, 'Don't you think I'm a good girl?'

He said, 'Yes, I think you're practical!'

When we were walking, this guy suddenly said, 'You've changed my perception of girls, I thought all girls would be little princesses, and if I wanted to establish a close relationship, it would mean constantly giving and sacrificing, and constantly seeking, which would make me tired, but with you, it's completely different.'

I asked him, 'Haven't I always been like this, and you don't know how to do things, so you're confused and don't know how to find a solution?'

He said, 'When I first met you, I thought it was just your way of speaking, a gentle voice was rare, but after getting to know you, I realized that you are truly gentle.'

He said this when I was particularly worried for him, a person who had never been treated with gentleness, was most able to recognize gentleness.

He was warm, I was happy, and he was cold, but I didn't bother, I just accepted it.

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Originally, I was a person who wanted to be with someone and have a passionate love, but now I want a relationship that can lead two people's lives to a broader world. I like him not because he's brilliant and dazzling, but because we can reflect each other's light. I didn't expect myself to be a dark and humble person, but with him, I suddenly felt vibrant and bright. We also don't want to be the kind of person who is blindly in love and waiting for someone to fall in love with us, we want to be ourselves, and we don't want to sacrifice ourselves for anyone in this relationship

-author-

When discussing what to do on the weekend, when we had different opinions, I wanted to go to the gym and beauty salon, and he wanted to go to the movies, because the location was far away, we could only go to one place.

I conceded first, and the movie hadn't been released yet, it was a special reservation by someone.

But he felt that catering to me was a bit unfair to me, he didn't want to watch the movie.

I really didn't like arguing back and forth, so I said to him, 'You're tormenting me.'

He sent me a frowning expression, 'To watch a movie, I'm giving up, I won't be unhappy.'

I replied to him, 'It's not about sacrificing, I'm just careless, like eating, if you want to eat beef rolls, I want to eat donkey meat pies, and in the end, whoever's happy is the one who wins.'

I wanted to let him know that even if we had different opinions, we weren't harming each other.

This guy said, 'Back in the days, there were many girls who were nice to me, but I don't know why, I always resist, so I had to be alone and depressed, until I met you, this is a really magical thing.'

I said, 'I can make you happy, we're now so close, I give you my sweetness, all of it isn't because I'm willing to give you, until you realize that I didn't expect you to love me back.'

It's not about knowing how much you can give, it's about how much you're willing to give. But I didn't know you wanted me to, so I didn't make myself want you to love me. I just wanted to give you my warmth, I just wanted to show you light and heat. But later, the plot developed, it's a little beyond my imagination, I thought you would always be with me, I would follow you step by step, this relationship's intimacy, completely depends on how much I give, I wanted to reach a certain place…

But I realized later that you would learn to walk behind me, and pull my hand to run ahead of me, making me a little surprised and happy. It's like I'm just walking ahead, he's suddenly running behind me, pulling me, and I'm a little caught off guard, but it makes me happy. I realized that I wasn't longing for someone to cherish me, I just wanted to be with someone who could love me. It's a matter of whether you really want me to be with you, you just don't want me to be blindly in love and waiting for someone to fall in love with me.

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