I always felt that only 'fitting in' could prevent me from being abandoned by friends and thus live a less lonely life. But later I realized that excessive 'fitting in' cannot improve my life, but only makes me more anxious and uneasy.

In this world, everyone has their own pace of life and their own lifestyle. 'Fitting in' seems to allow us not to detach from the masses and not to lose friendship, but in fact, it is at the cost of disrupting our own rhythm, doing the most useless social activities.

Friendship is not influenced by 'fitting in'

Relationships are not obtained through 'fitting in'.

As you grow older, you will gradually find that solitude and not being 'fitting in' are the most sophisticated ways to live in the second half of your life.

True friendship is not influenced by 'fitting in'

Some say that true friends are not about being together all the time, nor are they about doing things together. It's about the fact that even if you don't have time, when you contact them, you will inevitably feel very warm and friendly,

I particularly agree with this.

In life, some people always treat friendship with great caution,

Some invite you, no matter if you have something to do, they will participate; colleagues gather, no matter how busy your life is, you will participate. In their view, only by integrating into others' lives can you become friends with them.

However, when we are truly 'fitting in' so much, always eager to participate in all kinds of activities and gatherings, you may be familiar with everyone on the surface, but you will find that true friends have not increased.

Instead, when we spend too much energy on 'fitting in', we ignore true friendship and affect our own lives,

True friends will not become distant from you because of your 'not fitting in', and vice versa, neither will those who are not friends become distant towards you because of your 'fitting in',

At any time, you should understand that all friendships are earned through 'sincerity' and 'genuine feelings', not obtained through 'fitting in',

True networks are not obtained through 'fitting in',

In life, many people are eager to 'fit in' and participate in various banquets and activities. In their view, banquets and activities will help them meet many people and expand their network,

Undeniably, in today's society, networks are the most precious asset for a person, it can make your life easier and give you more opportunities,

However, networks are not built by simply eating and drinking with people or attending activities,

Those who try to expand their network through 'fitting in' will eventually recognize many people, but they will only be at the level of recognition. When you need help, you will find that the 'fitting in' people will not extend a helping hand to you,

You can read this sentence: 'Networks are about mutually beneficial exchange'

Deeply agree with this.

In this world, don't think that just because you know someone, someone has an obligation to help you. If you don't have a value that others see, then even if you are 'fitting in', people won't look at you differently,

Different circles, don't force yourself to fit in,

Only when you constantly become better and have value to others, can you integrate into a circle and thus have a strong network relationship,

The rest of the 'fitting in' is just futile,

Not blindly 'fitting in' can live your true self

On Zhihu, I saw a question: What did 'fitting in' give you?

In the high-votes answer, four words revealed the embarrassing truth: 'Wasting time.'

In this world, everyone is different, and everyone has something they value and something they want to spend their energy on,

Blind 'fitting in' will only waste time on meaningless small talk, while 'self-improvement', things you want to do, will inevitably be delayed because you don't have time,

Truly outstanding people are often 'not fitting in' because they have their own life plans and pursue their own goals, and these have already given them all their energy, so they have no time to 'fit in',

In adulthood, you need solitude,

When you don't pursue perfection, don't compromise, and don't let 'fitting in' affect your life's progress, you can live brilliantly and freely,

END