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Introduction:

"Would you rather raise a flower instead of a father?" At first glance, many people might think that this is what "ungrateful children" would say.

However, many things in this world cannot be judged solely on the surface. When specific problems are placed in specific circumstances and examined again, it may be easier to understand why some children, despite being filial, are eventually driven by their parents to become "ungrateful". Would it be the same if it were ourselves?

"Ungrateful Daughter" uttered words received a lot of online support

Not long ago, my girlfriend finally mustered the courage to stop visiting her parents and stop giving them money. In fact, many friends had advised her to stop "throwing water away". Her parents' family is a typical case of favoring sons from a young age, and her girlfriend was always treated as a second daughter. They even saved the mooncakes for their son before giving any to her.

Fortunately, my girlfriend was tenacious, and she made costumes herself during college to pay for her tuition. After graduating, she opened her own shop. My daughter, who was originally so competitive, became a source of frustration for her parents. However, her parents never recognized her efforts, and they always asked her for money to supplement their family. Now that her brother has graduated from college and hasn't found a job, he spends all day playing games, and is rumored to earn money by playing games. In fact, my girlfriend's brother hasn't earned much money over the year, likely no more than a thousand yuan.

To buy a wife for her son, her parents constantly harassed her, hoping she would pay for her brother's car. Even more outrageous, they demanded 200,000 yuan for the car. My girlfriend couldn't bear her parents' persistent pressure and finally gave them 100,000 yuan, but she ended up blaming her whole family. When she was ready to meet her boyfriend, a college classmate, her parents immediately demanded a 300,000 yuan dowry, and my girlfriend cried and questioned her parents, but she received the answer: "Your brother will have dowry money when he gets married!" Finally, she was forced to give in.

Just a few days ago, my girlfriend received a phone call from her mother, and her parents had taken her brother to see a 1.5 million house. Her parents hoped my girlfriend would contribute a down payment, and she would also help repay half of the remaining balance. Her parents' approach completely exploded my girlfriend's suppressed anger, and she directly questioned her parents: "Why should I pay the down payment? Is my money just blown by the wind? He's a bum living off handouts, why should I support him?"

Her parents' response was equally reasonable: "He is your brother." They then said in a soft voice: "Look, when you get older, you will also take care of us, so help your brother a little. Let's call it a donation to our elderly parents." My girlfriend was even more angry, saying: "I just want to be kind to them, why is it so difficult for my parents to express my affirmation?"

My girlfriend sighed: "I just want to be good to them, it's so hard for my parents to say that they recognize me, why is it so difficult?"

I asked my girlfriend: "Are you really going to cut off contact with your parents? It seems like that's not supported in our country." My girlfriend told me: "In the past two years, unless there's a special occasion, I won't contact them. I want to give myself a break, and I want my parents to calm down and reflect. If they hate me in the future, then let's cut off contact completely. I've come to realize that no matter how much I give, I can't get the recognition I deserve."

Later, this incident spread in her friend group, and my girlfriend's words, "I'd rather raise a flower than my parents," became very popular and received a lot of sympathy. Many of her friends praised her, and they all agreed that it was right to stop giving, and they believed that my girlfriend was right from the beginning.

Why do parents still hold onto "favoring sons" in modern times?

(1) Because many parents who favor sons lack "cognition"

Frankly, "favoring sons" still exists in modern society. Many parents still have this idea, because they lack education "cognition". The culture and education are two different things, but the "culture" refers more to thinking. These parents belong to the category of "low cognition", they often believe everything they hear and consider it true. They are like the saying "raising a son is better than raising a daughter", they believe that sons are more filial and more caring.They don't realize that "filial piety" is not tied to gender. It's particularly evident in their ability to distinguish between facts and opinions, so it's difficult for them to change their mindset.

(2) Parents who favor sons are influenced by clan culture

In some remote mountain villages, clan culture still plays a huge role. Many parents are influenced by the clan and insist that sons are more respected and that men should continue the family lineage. They even believe that if a woman doesn't give birth to a son, it's considered unfilial and breaks the "ancestral line."

For these parents, they can't understand logic and only listen to what they hear.

(3) Parents who favor sons think thatsonscan

stay

with

them

Some parents favor sons because they think daughters are "water that flows out" and cannot be recovered. Unlike sons, who can find a way to stay with them and live together.

Because many parents have this "little nine-nine" in their minds, they devote all their efforts and support to their sons, hoping that their sons will be filial to them in the future. It's like investing in a "potential stock", so it inevitably becomes "waste of money", resulting in a wasted investment.

It's true that many families where parents favor sons have a lack of security.

In fact, many parents' families don't have the problem of favoring sons because they don't need to rely on their sons for support. They focus on equal treatment between children and don't favor one over the other.

They want their children to have their own lives and make their own choices. Therefore, favoring sons often stems from a lack of understanding and a lack of security.

So, it's difficult for parents to change their mindset of favoring sons, and it's only through self-reflection that change can be achieved. And family members should be honest with each other because "harmony within the family brings prosperity", and family members will be happier and more harmonious.

What do you think about this matter? Please leave your views and opinions in the comments below.

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