Leave Him, Leave Unhealthy Love

“01” “And for half a year with my ex, he always said to me, ‘I love you.’ At first, I believed it, thinking he was a frank person about emotions. However, after a long time, I realized that he often said ‘I love you’ was just a means, not genuine love.

For example, when I spoke to him, he didn’t listen to me, acting like a piece of ice; afterward, he would say, ‘I love you’.

For example, when he promised to do something for me, and then forgot to do it, he would say, ‘I love you’.

For example, when I repeatedly mustered the courage to break up with him, he would say, ‘I love you’.

He used ‘I love you’ to create a beautiful future for me, letting me firmly believe and blindly follow;

He used ‘I love you’ to put pressure on me, making me feel ashamed and blaming myself for wanting to leave him.

“02” Now, looking back, I was too stupid and naive at that time. I used to think ‘I love you’ was the most beautiful phrase in the world, and I became addicted to it.

What is addiction?

Addiction is vanity, an irresistible obsession with the words ‘I love you,’ even when realizing he doesn’t love me, can self-comfort with ‘It doesn’t matter if I love him or not, as long as he says it’.

Addiction is losing the proud self, lowering your standards and bottom line again and again, like dust.

Addiction is every time you make up your mind to leave, but repeatedly pulled back by the words ‘I love you,’ continuing to give the ex one last chance, which is ridiculous, and every time it’s the last chance, countless last chances.

This is an unhealthy love, a distorted love!

“03” My ex was my first love. I may really loved my ex back then, so I was fooled by him, especially when I wanted to escape, it was also repeated many times before I finally broke up with him.

After the breakup, I was in a depressed state for a long time. At that time, I had no spirit and interest in everything around me, I hated to hear the word ‘love’. Because I had heard ‘I love you’ too many times, I no longer believed in love.

This phrase, the most beautiful phrase in the world, became a lie and mockery for me.

Now, looking back, my aversion to love actually proved that that love affair was unhealthy. If my ex gave me true love, then after the breakup, although I would regret, I would still be full of hope for love, how could I hate it and resist it?

“04” It took me 5 years to get rid of this unhealthy love. I read a lot of books about psychology, I painted and meditated to calm myself, I went hiking and running to release stress and emotions…

These 5 years, my mood fluctuated up and down, repeatedly, fortunately, I got through it! I truly experienced the baptism of fire and rebirth. These 5 years, my heart really experienced the agony of being burned by fire.

Some people may be curious, why did it take me 5 years. Because in the past 3 years, I also made a mistake that many heartbroken people will make: contacting my ex.

There were twice when my ex came to find me, saying to me ‘I love you, I’ve always loved you’ , these words swayed me.

Once I couldn’t help but contact my ex, so all the previous efforts were all in vain.

Therefore, this is a blood lesson: after breaking up, absolutely do not have any contact with the ex!

“05” In the following 2 years, I did a good job of cutting off all contact with my ex. Once I had a strong urge to text or make an appointment with my ex. Fortunately, I held back, I forever thanked that last trace of reason for pulling me back, I didn’t find my ex, but I went to find good friends to chat with.

Looking back, this experience made me understand: unhealthy love should be decisively rejected, don’t be obsessed with the words ‘I love you’, and let myself relapse again and again.

If you become addicted to unhealthy love, you must constantly self-regulate and self-heal, even if it’s a long and arduous process, but you must persevere to find the impulse to contact the ex.

See you, ex!

See you, unhealthy love!