Meeting the Unknown Self | Dear, There’s Only Yourself Out There

Following Zhang Defen's 'Meeting the Unknown Self,' I couldn't help but think along with the protagonist in the book, 'Who am I?' 'Am I happy?' 'What do I truly pursue?'

The author points out that everyone has 'small self' and 'true self.'

The 'small self' is the self influenced by everything in the outside world. For example, wealth, power, status, and some events happening around us, including what others think of us, and our vanity, competitiveness, etc.

The 'small self' is controlled by the subconscious body, so we will involuntarily think and struggle for certain things. Once the 'small self' is satisfied, we will also feel happy. But this happiness comes from the outside world, and once the external source of happiness disappears, the happiness will also disappear.

While the 'true self' is the genuine pursuit within, it blooms from the inside out, even without external factors, the 'true self' is peaceful and joyful.

So, 'Who am I?' 'What do I truly pursue?' 'Am I happy?'

The things we pursue in our lives can be summarized in five words – love, joy, peace.

And these are the definitions of the 'true self.'

The female protagonist, Ruili, didn't originally like to go to her mother-in-law's house, feeling dissatisfied that her mother-in-law hadn't been able to give birth to her, and she would drag her feet whenever she went to her mother-in-law's house.

After changing her thinking, she decided to 'perform' sincerely when she went to her mother-in-law's house for the first time. When she entered the house, she smiled and greeted her; she sincerely asked for help in the kitchen; unlike the polite and fake behavior before, she seriously thanked her mother-in-law. When she ate, she naturally complimented her mother-in-law's cooking.

Because she was doing it with a heartfelt attitude, her mother-in-law also treated her kindly, and she asked her to take care of her health and not work too hard before leaving,

Previously, Ruili's perception of her mother-in-law's sharp corners and stern eyes seemed to have disappeared, as if by a miracle,

The roles we play in the world can cover our 'true selves,' and the way we play these roles will also affect our interactions with others.

Using five concentric circles to explain, the innermost circle is the 'true self,' and the outer circles are body, emotions, thoughts, and role identification.

Starting from the inside out, we first need to identify with our body and emotions.

An old carpenter was preparing to retire. He told the boss that he wanted to leave the construction industry to return home and share time with his wife and children. The boss was unwilling to lose his workers and asked him if he could help rebuild a house. The old carpenter agreed.

However, everyone could see that his heart was no longer on the job; he used soft words and did sloppy work. After the house was built, the boss gave him the key and said, 'This is a gift for you.'

The old carpenter was shocked and ashamed. If he had known it was for himself, how could he have done such shoddy work?

People's emotions can affect their work; when we are happy, our efficiency and state will also be high. The energy will also resonate.

Good energy and bad energy have a strong transmission and influence.

You dislike someone, and someone else also dislikes that person; you will find a common topic. Some people always look at things from a positive perspective, and they will attract people with the same frequency to promote everyone's optimism.

You are what you are, and you will attract what kind of people.

Sometimes, when chatting in a group, someone is always complaining about a celebrity, and a small number of people also echo, and within a short time, the group is flooded with complaints, and the irrelevant or unable to speak people quietly closed their group messages, leaving only those who spoke,We want to have such relationships with people, we must first become such a person.

As the saying goes, 'If the room is not tidy, how can it sweep the world.' Look inward, analyze our true thoughts, accept ourselves, and start from the heart.

Focus on ourselves and make peace with ourselves. Then gradually expand outwards and try to make some achievable changes.

Many people are unhappy because they complain too much and make too few changes. The things we complain about are difficult to shake, so it's better to put them aside first.

When we are strong, we can live freely.

Ruili, under the guidance of a wise man, improved her inner state and gradually changed her outer time, letting her life become more comfortable. Like a silkworm transforming into a butterfly, she was reborn.

And many people are still stuck in 'cage,' desperately searching for a busy life without results. It's better to reconcile with yourself and listen to your true thoughts.

Believe in,

Dear, there is no one outside, only you

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