Speaking is an art, but if this art is not mastered, it is easy to 'speak from the mouth'. Whether it is ancient people or people in today's reality, it is inseparable from speaking. People need help and must speak, need to connect emotions and express love, also need to speak. Learning to speak can make you thrive in society and life, and not speaking or speaking carelessly may lead to fire and burn, and die without knowing the reason.

Therefore, Zeng Guofan paid special attention to speaking throughout his life. He always educated his friends and descendants to 'speak carefully and cautiously', and it is absolutely not allowed to speak nonsense. This is very likely to ruin one's life or lose a small life. This trick was very effective. Zeng Guofan learned this, and cleverly made others unable to grasp his handle, so that he could live better.

01 The bad things about speaking carelessly

As Zeng Guofan said, 'One must not be vain and self-sufficient, for this is the characteristic of small people, and also a restraint for gentlemen.'

Zeng Guofan's words tell his younger brother Zeng Guofan and their family that when speaking, one must be mindful of their words. They should not be arrogant and conceited just because they feel they are talented, nor should they be proud of their ability to cause harm to others. This may lead to jealousy and contempt from others, and it is also very dangerous.

Perhaps this sentence doesn't seem very profound at first glance, but when combined with Zeng Guofan's experience of educating his younger brother, it will suddenly become clear. Zeng Guofan's younger brother, Zeng Guofan, followed Zeng Guofan to manage the Xiang Army. At the Nanjing Battle, Zeng Guofan led the Xiang Army to completely destroy the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom's capital, Nanjing. This was a huge contribution.

However, Zeng Guofan was a very unmindful person who insisted on speaking carefully. When Nanjing was about to capture it, he wrote a letter to ask Empress Dowager Cixi for help. Zeng Guofan always advised him not to speak carelessly, but he didn't listen. This request for help was due to his eagerness for success and his words were full of flattery, which made Empress Dowager Cixi not reward him, but criticize Zeng Guofan for focusing too much on gaining glory and forgetting the main task. She also asked Zeng Guofan to hand over the money obtained in Nanjing to the national treasury.

Now Zeng Guofan was in trouble. The money obtained in Nanjing was already being hoarded by his subordinates and himself. How could he hand it over to the treasury? If it was less, Empress Dowager Cixi would accuse him again. If it was more, he wouldn't be able to hand it over. At this time, Zeng Guofan realized that Empress Dowager Cixi's true intentions were not to ask for money, but that her current strength had affected the Qing government. If he didn't learn to speak well, he would definitely create a disaster that could ruin his life. Zeng Guofan and Zeng Guofan discussed it and asked him to retire home to rest. However, Zeng Guofan refused, believing that even if the Qing government fell, he and his brother could be king.

He not only said this himself, but also said it to Zeng Guofan's other subordinates, which scared Zeng Guofan. If this continued, Empress Dowager Cixi would definitely hear about it and ruin them. Therefore, Zeng Guofan made a decision: reduce the Xiang Army to just 40,000 elite soldiers, and then he petitioned Empress Dowager Cixi to allow her younger brother, Zeng Guofan, to retire home to rest.

In fact, Zeng Guofan's younger brother was not sick. This was just one of Zeng Guofan's language tactics to skillfully resolve the trouble caused by Zeng Guofan's Nanjing campaign. Once Zeng Guofan retired home, he would no longer be pursued for the money obtained in Nanjing. That's how Zeng Guofan not only saved his life but also left behind a fortune.

You can see that if you speak carelessly, you might end up losing your life. But if you speak carefully, you can achieve a completely different result. Do you want to be uneasy?

So how can we achieve 'speak carefully and cautiously'? Let's master these four points.The first and most important point is to understand the environment in which you are speaking. In what environment do you speak what words?For example, the simplest example is that you are at a funeral and you still tell jokes, which is very likely to offend others.

Therefore, we need to distinguish between environment and occasion, and when speaking, we must speak appropriate words. If it's difficult to speak something that is pleasant, the best way is not to speak.

The second point is to understand the personality of the person you are speaking to. This is also very important.

As the saying goes, 'Know your enemy and know yourself, and you will win a hundred battles out of a hundred.' This is not only true in doing things, but also in speaking. If you are talking to a person who is very polite, and you speak roughly, it will make him feel uncomfortable. Perhaps he will no longer want to talk to you in the future.

Understanding the personality and tolerance of the person you are talking to, and then speaking, can effectively avoid unexpected situations and make it difficult for others to seize your handle.

The third point is not to speak bad words about others behind their backs. This is a fundamental principle.As we said before, no one wants to hear bad words about themselves. If you say something negative about someone behind their back, even if it's a normal statement, it will eventually become a bad word, and the person will be angry at you.

The fourth point is not to join in other people's discussions. This is very dangerous.

As I said before, if you join in other people's discussions without preparation, you may offend someone and make them resent you. Many times, a few words can lead to a disastrous outcome.03 Conclusion

Ancient people's words and wisdom are very valuable and worth studying. If you want to avoid trouble and make it difficult for others to seize your handle, remember Zeng Guofan's one principle: 'Speak carefully and cautiously'. This applies no matter where or when.

Note: The images are from the internet, please remove if infringing, welcome to leave interesting thoughts in the comments.

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