May you rise to great heights, without abandoning your original intentions.

Sept. 6, 2025, 1:48 a.m. Essays

During my university years, I had a friend named Pang, who had a catchphrase: 'People are always changing.'

Whenever we had disagreements about topics, he would dismissively say, 'People are always changing,' with a 'You're happy' expression on his face.

We rarely persuaded each other. Whenever he said this, I knew he was being stubborn, and arguing with him would be pointless. I always thought he was the most 'obstinate' person around.

Of course, obstinacy has its good, such as determination, doing things with a beginning and an end, not easily swayed or capricious. The downside is that it can lead to stubbornness.

Just after graduating, we would occasionally gather to eat and chat. At that time, Pang hadn't stopped talking about how out of touch he felt with the surrounding environment, and he was very distressed. I always comforted him:'It will get better, many things you don't like, but you can't erase its existence, you can only accept and tolerate it, just let it go.'

Pang was very unhappy for those two years. He challenged his superiors, teased his clients, and later tried to start a business, but eventually, he came back to his job after a lot of trials and tribulations.

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The cute little Pang had become a gloomy fat guy. At his lowest point, he secretly told me, 'I want to commit suicide.' How could that be solved? I quickly poured out the contents of my stomach for him, and earnestly told him the 'meaning of life.'

Another two years passed, and luckily we were able to work together, so we started a weekly gathering. I found that Pang had become a completely different person—he wasn't as prickly as before, and he was able to smoothly deal with the world,

I congratulated him and said, 'Pang, you've changed a lot over the years.' Pang smiled and said, 'Really?'

I've lost contact with many of my university classmates, and we haven't seen each other since.

One day, a friend who was close to me in university came to Shenzhen on vacation, and we had a meal together. After a long absence, it was great to see each other again. We talked for a long time, and then the friend suddenly said, 'You're still the same.'

I smiled and said, 'Some things will never change, but some things should change.' The friend smiled and said, 'The is important.'

It's true that people are always changing. When someone says, 'You haven't changed,' it's often a compliment, acknowledging the past. But when someone says, 'You've changed,' it's different.

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Sometimes when we say, 'You've changed,' we mean you've become better or more outstanding. More often, it's a denial, denying the present, and the complete version is: 'You've become annoying,' or 'You've become unrecognizable to me.'

For example, this is a high-frequency statement during a couple's quarrel.

Why do we feel like someone has changed? Because everyone is growing and adapting to their environment over time. This adjustment may be slow, but over time, the magnitude will become apparent.

However, some people inadvertently change the wrong parts, or acquire dirt, or lose their original purity, which is shocking to old friends.

But as an independent individual, you cannot influence anyone's 'growth,' no matter whether it's good or bad, we are helpless.

So,Life is like a train that always has come and gone, with ups and downs, and when you feel lost in the boredom of life, it's a pleasure to accompany three or five friends to fight against the emptiness of the world.

*Wei Jian, a young author, focuses on personal growth exploration, and his representative works include 'Never ask others about their salaries'.*