University Taught Me One Thing: Learn to Lower Your Expectations of Others, It's Good for Everyone
1.
Morning, when I heard the constant movement from my roommate's bed while I was reading, I asked her if the light from my bedside lamp was bothering her.
Last week, she sent me a message saying that my bright bedside lamp was bothering me every morning, forcing me to wake up at five. She asked if I had considered buying a blackout curtain and suggested a thicker one.
I bought a blackout curtain myself, but before that, she already installed one in her bed.
I thought that with a bed curtain, the light wouldn't be as noticeable. So, I never hung up the blackout curtain I bought. This morning, I saw her constantly moving around in her bed while brushing her teeth, and I asked her if the light from my lamp was bothering her.
She said that the blackout curtain she bought was too thin. Then she asked me if I had mentioned it, but I responded calmly that I had also bought a blackout curtain, but because she had already hung a bed curtain, it shouldn't be a problem. If the light is still too bright, I'll hang up the blackout curtain.
Without any anger, it was a very rational response.
2.
I believe that many girls will have many feelings about getting along with roommates, and it is because they have many expectations for others.
3.
In college, a girl's dormitory is a very interesting place. It's small, but it's the most destructive place for conflicts and contradictions.
4.
These unspoken battles, small groups of students, rumors...all spread and proliferate from this small place. I've experienced many isolated moments since junior high school, and I've become more mature and rational. I've stopped expecting too much from others, and I focus on doing what I should do.
5.
I never criticize others directly, even if they are not doing well. Instead, I observe and try to understand the reasons behind their actions.
6.
Often, I start by looking at myself to see if there's a way to avoid the impact on me. It's my problem, I solve it; it's not my problem, I don't worry about it.
7.
You may find that a lot of the trouble in interpersonal relationships comes from expecting too much from others.
8.
In friendship, if you consider someone your closest friend, but then you find that they don't value you as much as you thought, it will hurt your friendship.
9.
In love, we remember every promise and protect them carefully. When the expectations are not met, we're left with disappointment, and the disappointment becomes more and more, leading to a breakup.
10.
Similarly, in the relationship between teachers and students, people expect teachers to be virtuous and respected. When something bad happens, people will be angry.
11.
In family relationships, we expect our parents to be kind and filial. When parents don't fulfill these expectations, it causes public outcry.
12.
Whether it's friendship, love, teacher-student relationships, or family relationships, if we can accept our position and treat unexpected hurts with a normal attitude, we won't be hurt.
13.
Learning to lower our expectations of others also lowers the harm they can do to us.
