In interpersonal relationships, the 3 most insightful sentences reveal a lifetime of wisdom
People's lives are all about interpersonal relationships. Good interpersonal relationships are the foundation of a happy life; otherwise, no matter how wealthy material possessions are, encountering people who are constantly irritated will greatly diminish the quality of life. Interpersonal relationships can be broadly divided into three categories:family members, acquaintances, and strangers.
Family members should be distant, strangers should be familiar, and acquaintances should be close.Mastering the 'measure' of interpersonal relationships is crucial; successfully grasping this balance, being considerate and having good relationships with people, leads to a good life.
Family members should be distant
Most people believe that family members should be distant. However, in traditional culture, there was an admonition: 'Close relatives should maintain respect and etiquette,' which means that family members should maintain respect and etiquette, this is to avoid becoming estranged and losing formality because of excessive familiarity. Like couples or mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they become very casual over time, which sometimes leads to conflict.
Having boundaries and formalities is necessary. A young couple lives with the old man and his wife, who is a bit strict and doesn't always pay attention to their daily life, such as entering the young couple's room without knocking to get things, and they never avoid criticizing the young couple's behavior.
Later, their son pointed out these problems, but the old man dismissed them, saying, 'We are all family, I was born to you, why do you have so many rules?' It was precisely because of people like the old man that many misunderstandings and conflicts arose. Eventually, they had to separate and live in different houses.
The 'distance' between family members is not about formality; it's about respect, and it's also a kind of interpersonal art. The more intimate the people are, the more necessary it is to maintain a distance.
As Zhou Guoping said: a sense of distance is a sign of mature love, it understands the need to abide by the necessary distance between people, and this distance means respecting the other person as an independent individual, including respecting the other person's right to be alone.
Acquaintances should be close
Some say that acquaintances should be respectful; close family members need formalities to show respect. Conversely, acquaintances should be closer.I have a colleague who always asks a farmer from his hometown to bring some vegetables, and the farmer is working in a construction site, so his life is obviously not as good as others. Each time he goes to his house, he brings two plastic bags, doesn't take off his shoes, and puts the bags on his feet before entering. Later, the colleague found out that he was afraid of his shoes getting dirty, he didn't want his feet to smell, and he didn't want to scare his young daughter. The colleague's wife is also a considerate person.
When visiting to bring vegetables, the colleague's wife directly pulled him into the house and said, 'Look at my two children, they also wear muddy shoes everywhere, our house is not so clean. Don't be too fussy.' This seemingly trivial matter has since caused the farmer to bring more radishes or white vegetables whenever he brings a package of vegetables. It was all harvested from the farmer's own vegetable garden.
Mastering interpersonal relationships, people live more transparently and wisely. May we all cherish family members, trust acquaintances, and treat strangers with kindness.
Strangers should be familiar
In the recent episodes of Douyin, a subway worker noticed a woman crying on the subway platform and went over to comfort her. The worker patted her head, and the crying woman cried even harder. It turned out that the woman had been working overtime for a month and was very ashamed of not going home to cry, fearing it would scare her young daughter, so she only cried outside before returning.
In the adult world, everyone has their moments of difficulty. Sometimes we are strong and persevere all the way, but sometimes we are fragile, and perhaps just a stranger's warm words can make our tears flow. Because of the kindness of strangers, we can feel the love and goodwill in the world.
Morning, I met a cleaning grandma and greeted her: 'Madam, you are up early.' I met a street vendor selling pancakes, who said kindly: 'Girl, don't eat too fast, it's hot.' At night, I met the last bus home and said to the driver: 'Driver, have a good day.' Strangers familiar, bringing people closer together, embodying love and kindness.
Mastering interpersonal relationships, people live more transparently and wisely. May we all cherish family members, trust acquaintances, and treat strangers with kindness.
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