Words Have Three Unspoken Ones, Arguments Have Three That Don't Argue
Author: Wulan Jun
Source: Dulantea (ID: dulantea)
Do you ever have such experiences?
Sometimes, carelessly spoken words can cause a relationship to break down, and you regret it afterward.
Some things are actually very simple, but because of stubbornness, we argue with people, and in the end, we make a mess of things.
Do you?
Now that we're middle-aged, we've learned thatSome words shouldn't be said, and some arguments aren't worth having.
There are three unspoken words in a relationship
As the saying goes, 'People's words are to be feared,' sometimes,Words are like sharp swords, and they hurt people more than anything.
A carelessly spoken word can deeply wound someone.
Hemingway once said:
We learn to speak in two years, but we have to learn to shut up for a lifetime. Talking is instinctive, and shutting up is a skill. But shutting up isn't about not saying anything; it's about knowing
What words should be said, and what words shouldn't be said.01
Don't argue in groups
Arguing is inevitable, but if it's between a group of people, there's no choice but to avoid it. The best thing to do is not to get involved.
Because when a group of people argue, whether it's out of what reason, it eventually turns into a competition for speaking time, and everyone tries to take the opportunity to speak.
So, arguing with a group of people doesn't lead to a win-win situation, and everyone is the loser.
When facing a group argument, don't listen or speak, silence is the ultimate victory.
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Don't argue over faceAs the saying goes: 'Preserve your face and live with disgrace.'
Most people value their face, and they'd rather lose some money and spend some time, but still maintain their face.
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You'll see that some people argue even if they don't make sense, and they shout, 'I don't care, anyway, you have to do this or that,'
What they want isn't that 'how,' but the face.
Face is something you have to pick up yourself, not something others can give you.
Arguing makes things worse, and you end up losing face, and even risk losing all your face.
A person with composure avoids arguing, and if they do argue, they argue for the reason, not for face; a silent approach is the ultimate victory.
03
Don't argue over emotions
The most dangerous thing is to act impulsively based on emotions.
Arguing, especially when emotions are running high, is a dangerous type of argument.
Controlling emotions is like holding a wild beast with a rope: the more agitated the beast, the more painful it is to hold the rope, and the beast might even hurt others, leaving a permanent scar.
Don't argue over emotions, or you'll hurt yourself and others.
Don't argue over face, don't lose face, and don't let emotions dictate your actions.
Perhaps someone will ask: 'So, if there's no type of argument to have, what kind of argument can we have?'
If there's no argument to have, it's a good thing.
Life is a game, and we should live it carefully, not carelessly.
We not only have to live, but
We also have to live it carefully,
Don't say three words, don't argue three times,
Less trouble, and more joy naturally increases.
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