3 Unspoken Rules of Interpersonal Relationships

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People often ask Fang Yuan about how difficult it is to get along with others, and how to maintain good relationships in the workplace.

Why do some people constantly offend others, while others are very popular?

Ultimately, some people only consider themselves and don't think about others. Once there's a conflict of interest, their true nature will be exposed.

But some are different; they don't care about immediate gains and understand the rules of interaction, won't make others feel uneasy, and won't make themselves too unhappy.

In everyday interactions with people, there are three rules that people don't say explicitly, but are very important.

01CY story

No quick agreement, is actually a refusal

Xiao He received his bonus at the end of the month, excited, posted a, received a lot of praise and encouragement, however, one of his friends commented asking the amount of the bonus.

Still not guessing his intention, his friend immediately sent a message, first a warm-up, then said his money was tight, immediately asked Xiao He to borrow money.

Just after posting, he wanted to say he couldn't afford it, but Xiao He planned to replace his father's smartphone, had already looked at the model and was about to place an order.

Unable to help but told his friend that the money was for a planned purpose, asked him to find someone else.

After saying this, he felt very guilty for refusing his friend.

Unexpectedly, the classmate continued, 'What is it for? If you're not in a hurry, just borrow it from me, I'll repay you next month.'

Xiao He was extremely embarrassed, didn't know how to respond, obviously his refusal had made the friend continue to try to persuade him.

It was clear that the friend hadn't been directly refused, thinking there was still an opportunity to persuade Xiao He to lend him money.

The same cases will also have:

When selling things, respond: I'll consider it first;

When invited to dinner, respond: I'm not sure if I have time;

When asked for help, respond: I may not be convenient;

In interpersonal relationships, not all requests will be accepted, if you refuse others too directly, it's easy to cause embarrassment, so many people choose to decline gracefully.

In fact, 'let's say' is often used to express a refusal, 'let's see' is often used to express impossibility.

If you don't understand clearly, you still don't know how to retreat, even if you finally get help, your relationship is probably over because of it.

Therefore, remember that in adult social rules, a firm statement is considered polite, a refusal without a clear response is also a courtesy, a quick agreement is a promise.

02CY story

Friends' privacy, don't interfere in spreading,

Friends get along well, sometimes they're not guarded, they'll confide in each other casually.

If it involves the other party's privacy, people are willing to tell you, it's out of trust.

Don't spread others' privacy everywhere, even use it as a weapon to hurt them.

When you carelessly spread others' privacy, you're pushing yourself to the edge, no one wants to be with someone who doesn't respect others,

You'll sell off your friend today, and tomorrow your friend will sell you off.

Do people with integrity.

Many people don't understand that in interpersonal relationships, your behavior is your brand, good or bad all determined by others in the circle.

In interpersonal relationships, not to pry, not to interfere, not to spread friends' privacy, is to respect others, also to protect yourself.

Remember, good news shouldn't be kept secret, bad news shouldn't be spread,

You may be a wise person, but don't believe the saying that 'silence is golden.'

Try to secretly say good things about someone behind their back, you'll be surprised.

03CY story

The news: Chongqing youth Liu Yongxin, at his classmate's wedding, gave out 8888 yuan big red envelope, but when it was his own wedding, he only received 1314 yuan return gift.

Xiao Liu said, 'I and my classmate have been very good, when we were in school, we promised each other that when we got married, we would send each other's super red envelopes of 8888 yuan.'

Two years ago, when Xiao Liu got married, he gave his classmate 8888 yuan, even though this is equivalent to two months' salary, Xiao Liu didn't feel sorry about it, because he thought that only by keeping promises can he make up for his brotherly friendship.

But now receiving this 1314 yuan red envelope, he was very disappointed.

People should not be too calculating,

Taking advantage of others' shortcomings is the most unprofitable business in the world.

Because, every time you're greedy for small benefits, you're damaging your own integrity.

If you're always kind and never get rewarded, the other person will also give up on you and leave it for someone more deserving.

Writer Kyrie once said this story:

When the family was poor, there was no food, they would ask neighbors for noodles, a pack of 100 catties, when the wheat was harvested new, they would return it in full, and every time they would return 10 catties more.

Grandma always said, 'When I borrow from you, I'll give you a thank you gift, lending a little and returning a little more is a way of exchanging gifts, this is a gesture of gratitude.'

Later I understood that the extra 10 catties was a gift of gratitude.

Sometimes I wonder, why borrow so much and return so much, not more, they won't say anything, but Grandma didn't think so, she said, 'You borrow from me for an emergency, I'll give you a gift to thank you, lending a little and returning a little more is a convention, this is a gesture of gratitude.'

As written in 'The Book of Rites' – 'Exchange gifts. If you don't exchange, it's not a gift; if you exchange but don't, it's also not a gift.'

In interpersonal relationships, it's important to exchange gifts.

People who only take without giving will eventually exhaust the other person's goodwill,

Only by returning genuine kindness with genuine kindness, and responding with kindness, can you maintain a long-lasting friendship.

04CY story

On Zhihu, someone asked: 'What principles should be followed in interpersonal relationships to maintain a good relationship with friends?'

One of the top answers is:

'Friendship has no tricks, there are no rules,

What relationship you have with your friend, what attitude your friend has towards you, all hidden in your heart.

People-to-people relationships, seemingly complex, are actually simple.

Writer Kyrie said: 'Successful interpersonal relationships lie in seeing things from different angles.'

If you disagree with someone's opinion, it's normal to have different viewpoints,

As long as you can express your opinion while considering the other person's needs and understanding their difficulties, interpersonal relationships won't be too bad.

Life is like an echo, you give the best to others, you'll often get the best from others unexpectedly.

In the future, I hope you always smile, have light in your heart, can give warmth to others, and can gain warmth from others.

Moral exhortation.

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