Everyone is No.1

2019. Recollection of Lost Youth9 Heartfelt Words.

Rationality. Simplicity. Health. Tranquility. Excitement. Inspiration.

I can't remember when I definitively determined my life's positioning and life theme, just that these ‘plain’ lives and the lives I wanted to live seemed somewhat deviated, and I couldn’t help but re-examine myself at the beginning of 2009, paying particular attention to expressing the apologies and gratitude I’d always wanted to say but had been delaying, especially in 2008.

Sorry, for our plain life, I failed.

I can only tell you, I failed completely. Not even the protective color you painstakingly painted for me was left with a single tile. I huddled in the cold corner, licking my wounds, pretending to be unaffected while my inner self was incredibly exhausted, always wanting to say something, but my throat was always hoarse and powerless. It’s a truly bitter taste.

Thank you, because you’ve given me the most profound and pure emotions.

Do you still remember when we were heartbroken because we weren’t sure if we were truly good friends? I always said I was overly sentimental, always feeling that they weren’t truly concerned about me. Then, when I could no longer bear it or when my emotions were overwhelmed, I’d send them a text message or call to let it all out. That’s when I realized that we were both missing each other so much, and we had already become part of each other’s blood. We’ve rarely contacted each other, and our gatherings are infrequent. I’ve come to realize that we both wanted to keep each other away from our innermost feelings, expressing our care through occasional phone calls as the best way to show our concern.

It turns out, we've all grown up. I've always been gaining, and I’ve gained a lot from my experiences in the world.

In each other’s world, you can see me crying, and I can see you laughing, but I can’t feel the warmth of your body temperature, and you can’t sense my heartbeat. We simply can’t merge because some things are too straightforward to be appreciated.

Politics often surpasses business in ruthlessness; simply having a clear conscience is useless, and you must never leave any leverage. Regarding emotions, you just don’t want to face the pain of getting hurt and you lack the courage to accept it, and you’ve also lost the opportunity to be happy. I understand this is the cost of maintaining a serene state of mind.

To Wei, our inner selves are connected, I believe. I can’t persuade myself to accept my apologies after exerting myself, but I won’t put things off, I’ll learn from my mistakes and start over, though it will be a long and arduous process, it’s a commitment to you and to myself. I failed, and I have to stand up again, this lesson is profound and beneficial, helping me re-evaluate myself and clearly define my future and my decisions.

To Hui, I don’t know if you can understand my sense of loss and frustration, I’ve wanted to tell you about my inner struggles, pressure, or grievances, watching you work so hard, facing my own difficulties, it’s nothing. Sometimes, I still have the urge to cry, but I can’t show it in front of you. I and you must be strong, and you must also warn me.

To Yao, the same year, the same month, the same day, the same class, the same desk, one lifetime, one fate. Even though we’ve missed many things, our heartfelt blessings and continuous tacit understanding will always continue. More is about care and preservation. I said this generation of emotions will be passed down to the next generation.

To Huanghuang, at our wedding, this group of us started in 1999, 2009 is 10 years later, from friendship to family. We've always been trying, saying that we haven't achieved anything remarkable, but in our lives, in the past 10 years of struggle, we’ve had successes, and we've gained happiness and satisfaction. This success is not only due to our emotions, but also to the joy and relief we’ve gained in the past 10 years of our group’s struggles. Don't you think so?

I don’t know how to let it go, I don’t know how to stop going down dead ends, and I don’t know how to adjust my self-attitude to make things better. Any matter, as long as I’m willing, will become simple. However, this has once again made me more aware and knowledgeable, more accustomed to worldly affairs, and living in the present and being myself is not easy.

We'll always grow up. When we don't understand things, we shouldn't think about them. The more you think, the more trouble you'll get into. When you suddenly understand things you’ve struggled with for a long time, it’s a matter of chance.

In half a lifetime, in the remaining three-quarters of a lifetime, let’s thank and commemorate each other.

Thank you for the journey, for the tolerance, comfort, care, and commemoration we’ve given each other; let’s mourn the joy and sorrow we’ve shared in this short and bumpy life journey.