Addicted to Rewinding? It Shows How Deeply You Love
In the vast sea of people, there must be someone like me, who when listening to music, loves to loop songs repeatedly.
Looping a song doesn't just mean it's good-looking.
Perhaps the lyrics just happened to trigger the switch in memory, or maybe there was a special person who also liked this song.
Repeating a song over and over again, the frozen feelings will melt and break open with it.
Every time I loop a song, I can see the storyline in the song playing out.
2008, freshman.
That was the first time I heard Beyond's '' (Like You).
That year, I met him, and also experienced the first time, what is called a flutter in my heart.
Memory is selective, it always deliberately retains those moments of emotional fluctuations.
Related to the military training, there are several scenes that I still remember clearly today.
The scorching sun, the noisy singing and dancing, and him holding a guitar and singing this song softly.
Sunlight, guitar, youth… The illusory images from novels projected into reality.
He seemed so dazzling.
Such a dazzling person, actually became my classmate.
So I fell in love with him, and it also became natural.
When he was studying, he looked serious and steady.
Because he's a science student, he's considered a top student by the teachers.
Whenever I have trouble understanding the problems, he patiently explains them to me.
After class, he's witty and humorous, often teasing me.
Over time, he and the other boys in our dormitory called me 'Xiao Jie' (Little Sister).
Someone started teasing, he didn't argue back, just smiled at me.
I didn't let him be so carefree, although I couldn't say anything to scold him, my face was already flushed.
High school learning is tense and boring, the only thing that can alleviate it is to listen to beautiful songs every now and then.
Now I think about it, it's like this.
……
If before this, my feeling towards him was vague, then at this moment, I clearly realized that I really liked him.
Very good.
That performance was the closest I got to confessing to him.
Soon, because I was always thinking about him, my mood fluctuated, sometimes happy sometimes sad, and my grades followed suit.
I realized that this would only make things worse.
I came from a small rural middle school, I studied hard for three years before I was able to get into the high school in the city.
Inside me, there's always a flame burning for dreams, I want to get into university, I want to see a wider world.
For me, in this crucial high school, taking time to seriously like someone…
That's too extravagant.
Second year of high school, class divisions, he's in science, I'm in literature.
With the difference between science and literature classes, there was a distance created between us.
In the same classroom, there were many opportunities to meet, but now there were far fewer.
But the contact didn't break.
Since then, we've been communicating unilaterally, and everyone has made various efforts to get us back together.
He wrote me a letter.
In the letter, he said, he didn't understand why I suddenly changed, and he'd been crying for more than ten years without crying until recently.
With everyone's 'mediation', and him always being tolerant of me, the relationship between us would occasionally ease up.
I often told myself, you can communicate with him calmly, just like before I liked him, just treat him as an ordinary friend.
However, that wasn't the case.
But I deliberately avoided him, and if he passed by, I would quickly turn and walk away.
It's hard to say I don't miss him.
But at that age, at that time, there wasn't a better way to handle it.
During this time, his dormitory brothers would often come to ask me, 'What's going on between you two?'
Each time I pretended everything was fine, and laughed it off.
On one occasion, during the school's annual event, a makeshift stage was set up at the entrance of the supermarket, with tables and chairs, and a guitar was also set up.
…
When I looked at it, I realized it was the same song.
I resisted running back to shout out the name of the song, and calmly said, 'Beyond, Huang Jiaoyu, '' (Like You).
The host took the microphone and asked loudly, 'Does anyone know the name of this song?'
I held back from running back to shout out the name of the song, and calmly said, 'Beyond, Huang Jiaoyu, '' (Like You).
I haven't heard it so many times, it's been cried out so many times.
It's not just a sad love song, it has a special meaning to me.
It's like yesterday, you stand with me.
It's not just a simple bitter-sweet love song.
It has a memory attached to it.
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“Beyond”
