Protect Your True Self, You Are You

We are all unique in the world, and you are yourself, you don't need to judge or constrain yourself according to others' views and standards, you don't need to always imitate others. Maintaining your true self is the most important thing.

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Growing up in California, little Es-Orai was shy and sensitive, she was overweight, and her round face made her look even fatter. Her mother was very old-fashioned, believing that she didn't need to dress so decently and beautifully, as long as she was comfortable. So she always wore plain, loose clothes and never attended parties or participated in any activities, even after entering school, she didn't go out with other children. Because she was shy and to a dangerous degree, she often felt different and unwelcome.

Later, Es-Orai married a man who was several years older than her, but her shyness remained the same. Her husband’s family was a confident family, and all their advantages seemed to be missing in her. Living in such a family, she always tried to be like them, but she couldn't. The family also wanted to help her break free from her self-closure, but their well-intentioned actions only made her more closed off. She became nervous and irritable, avoided all her friends, and even feared the sound of the doorbell. She knew she was a failure, but she didn't want her husband to find out. So in public, she always tried to pretend to be very lively, sometimes even exaggerated, and then she was very frustrated afterward. Therefore, her life lost happiness and meaning, and she thought about suicide...

Later, Es-Orai didn't commit suicide, so what changed this unfortunate woman's fate? It was a chance conversation! Es-Orai wrote in a book:

‘This chance conversation changed my whole life. One day, my mother-in-law talked about how she raised her children. She said, ‘No matter what happens, I will insist on letting them maintain their true selves.’ This sentence shone like a flash of light in the darkness, illuminating me. I finally realized that I had been trying to play a role that didn't suit me well. In one night, I changed completely, I began to learn to maintain my true self and to try to find out what kind of person I really am. I started to observe my characteristics, pay attention to my appearance and style, and choose clothes that suit me. I began to make friends and join some activities. The first time they arranged for me to perform a program, I was terrified. But every time I opened my mouth, I gained a little courage. After a while, I changed, and now I feel happier, which is beyond my wildest dreams. I told this experience to the children, telling them how many pains I had experienced before learning this—no matter what happens, you must maintain your true self!

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We choose what kind of person we want to be, and we will become that kind of person. As long as we find the way that suits us, we can overcome difficulties and achieve our goals. But all this requires courage.

People around us can serve as a standard for self-image. We approach those who treat us in the way we think we should be treated. A healthy self-image person will expect others to respect him, this person is kind to himself, and he will let those around him know that this is the way he wants to be treated.

If you think you are bad, you will tolerate everyone trampling on you and belittling you. You only have thoughts like ‘I don’t really matter’ ‘It’s all my fault’ or ‘I’ve been treated like this all the time, maybe it’s because I deserve it’.

You may ask ‘How long do I have to endure?’

The answer is ‘It depends on how much you let others disregard yourself.’

Others treat us in the way we treat ourselves. Whoever interacts with us will soon know whether we respect ourselves.

As long as we respect ourselves, others will respect us. If you feed a three-month-old baby, would you unconditionally feed the baby? You would, wouldn’t you! You wouldn’t say ‘Listen, little guy! Unless you sit up and recite twenty-six letters to me or make me laugh, you won’t get milk!’ You feed the child because he should be fed, he deserves your love, care, and good treatment, because he is just as human as you are.

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You also deserve to be treated this way. You are qualified since birth, and you still are.

There are too many people who think that unless they are smart and handsome, earn a high salary, and are good at sports and witty conversation, they are not worthy of being loved and respected.

Recognize your own value and remind yourself often—you deserve to be loved and respected, just because you are you.

Recognize your own value and remind yourself—you qualify to be treated by others.

You may ask ‘How long do I have to endure?’