I'm not afraid of being abandoned, only afraid of abandoning myself

The happiest thing about 2020 was that a friend told me she had finally found 'herself.'

Back in late 19, she was still telling me that she had been nervously facing the world, not believing she deserved to be liked, nor thinking she had any merits.

I've actually met many people like this.

They might have just emerged from a bad relationship, or be in a constant state of denial, or perhaps never had the experience of 'I'm worthy of love.'

Many people call this 'low self-esteem,' but I think they're simply 'advantages waiting to be discovered.'

They are:

① Easily trapped in 'harming themselves' relationships;

Low self-evaluation will make them easily seek familiar relationship patterns.

Although these patterns might hurt them, they also provide a sense of security.

② They 'feel' 'unworthy,' unable to recognize their value;

Lack of boundaries in intimate relationships can make them only see their shortcomings.

Even when they are often the harmed party, they will often feel 'unworthy,' excessively compensating the other person.

③ Easily feel 'targeted,' 'unrecognized,' 'lucky'.

Every advantage waiting to be discovered can be made to 'like themselves' through effort:

① Build closer connections with people who like you;

It's not easy to distinguish what true love is like, but it's relatively simple to tell whether someone is constantly attacking or criticizing you, or even hurting you.

Choose friends who are 'good supporters.'

They can see your strengths, making you feel loved and supported.

If you can't find it in life, and this feeling of being devalued and low self-esteem affects your normal life, you must seek professional help.

② 'Suggesting' is often very useful;

'I really am a good person'

'That's a good thing you did'

'I don't want you to think I'm bad'

……

Do you notice that people who always show 'they're not good enough' actually have many negative self-suggestions.

Before something happens, they already make bad assumptions, even if the best result occurs, they're afraid of something worse.

Learn to 'suggest' to yourself, even something small like peeling an eggshell perfectly, or completing a plan, any task, if you learn to affirm yourself, it's the beginning of loving yourself.

Many people say, 'I just feel like I'm not good'.

But they haven't realized that every morning, when someone greets you, it's a good start.

Appreciating yourself is not an impossible task, as long as you start to try.

You'll find, wow, you're really amazing!