How to Break the Habit of Excessive Talking? These Five Insights Will Benefit You for Life
How to get rid of the habit of talking too much? This is a lifelong benefit.
When the young Chancellor Qing Fen first entered the officialdom, he was full of youthful vigor and wanted to demonstrate himself to his colleagues, often boasting about his knowledge, "dropping bags of books."
Once, at a birthday banquet for his colleague, he made inappropriate remarks about the colleague's mistress, leading to a disastrous ending.
The next day, after sobering up, he was ashamed and apologized in person, but the colleague refused to see him. Qing Fen realized the consequences of excessive talking and decided to change this bad habit.
In his diary, he deeply reflected and summarized his three common mistakes:One, conceited and verbose, refusing to listen to others' opinions;
Two, lacked restraint when joking, often offending others;
Three, loved to debate, always trying to overpower others, seeking momentary gains.
Similar cases of excessive talking occur frequently in everyday life and work, and everyone, to varying degrees, has experienced such "accidents."Ordinary people and great people often differ in their reflection and memory. As the saying goes in our hometown, many people face "mistakes" and only remember the punishment, not the lesson. In real life, there are many talkative people, especially in China.Stone says: "Among Asians, Chinese people and Indians are most adept at arguing." Chinese people like to talk about people and things, and they also talk about things they don't understand, but it's just idle gossip.”
01
Chinese people like to communicate, but not in a high-quality way. It's possible to achieve Chinese-style communication, and we can only rely on making up excuses, arguing, or being stubborn. Chinese people like to lie, which makes communication even less efficient.
01
Never say hurtful words, always fill your heart with love.In the Ming Dynasty's "Great Learning in Wisdom," it is written: "A kind word warms people in winter, and a harsh word chills people in summer." Often, a word of sympathy and understanding can give people a lot of comfort and courage, even in the cold winter, one feels warm. A word that is not appropriate will be like a sharp sword, piercing people's fragile hearts, even in summer, one feels a chill.
As mentioned above, Qing Fen's indecent behavior towards a colleague's mistress, excessive swearing and insults, and some people using sharp words and tactics to attack others are all things to avoid.
Broaden your connections is the greatest wisdom, and you must not harm anyone.
02 Don't be a slave to emotions!World-renowned psychologist Orelius said: ""
If you feel uncomfortable with any matter, it's your feeling, not the matter itself. Through adjusting your feelings, you can be invigorated at any time.”
03Don't gossip about others, always think about yourself.
‘Love others, and others will always love you; respect others, and others will always respect you’ is from Mencius’ ‘Great Learning in Wisdom, Chapter 2, Paragraph 2’.
During the Tang Dynasty’s Zhenguan years, Emperor Taizong asked Wang Qi to evaluate the officials in the capital. Wang Qi said: ‘Qing Fen is diligent and dedicated, knowledgeable and capable, an official of the country, he knows nothing he does not do, an official like him is better than Xuan Ling; he is generous and capable, he can serve as a general and an official, an official like him is better than Jing Ye; he is clear and meticulous, he makes a detailed report, he accepts all requests, he is better than Wen Yan Bo; he handles complex matters and serious problems, he governs the people and promotes stability, he is better than Dai Zhaoyi; he uses as heart, he despises being less than the virtuous rulers of and, he is better than Wei Zheng; he goes beyond promoting the virtuous and elevating the righteous, he praises the five sons, and he is better than the younger son’.
Emperor Taizong was deeply impressed by Wang Qi’s evaluation and admired Wang Qi’s objective and fair assessment.Because of this, Emperor Taizong reused Wang Qi as a censor and said, ‘Wang Qi always serves as a censor, and I will never make a mistake.’
04
Don't show off!If you want to do something, don't show off or promote it.Just quietly do it.
Because that's your own thing, no one will help you achieve your dreams if they don't know about it. Don't be arrogant and boastful.
It's best to persevere in your dreams, listen to the advice of seniors, and avoid making a few mistakes.
Time is the best proof!
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