Mature people have long abandoned their overly sensitive hearts

July 1, 2025, 3:51 a.m. Essays

Author: Jinliang (author of Rich Book Column), Source: Rich Book (ID: kolfrc)

Now when it comes to being overly sensitive, many people scoff, thinking those who are sensitive are not worth associating with, and cannot achieve anything great.

Many people think that those with sensitive traits are inherently like this, and no matter how hard they try, they cannot change their inherent vulnerability.

In fact, being overly sensitive is not innate, but a process we all go through during our growth.

Everyone, at the beginning,

has a sensitive heart

Before long,

a friend with a good family background, dissatisfied with the comfort of the family business, decided to quit and start his own business.

Originally, because everyone knew the company's background, colleagues around him were amiable and flattering, it was not so much work as a spoiled child's life.

Even after a year and a half of work, his own state was still as naive as when he graduated, and when he came out, because of the background of his prestigious university, he quickly found a job with a foreign company, but no one was as kind as before. New business unfamiliar and he was criticized for being unable to do it, and colleagues would scold him for failing to communicate, it was like a customer had a bad communication and was scolded,

So his friend's month in the new company was exactly what he hadn't experienced in the previous year and a half, and the sensitive heart, like a glass dropped on the ground, shattered into pieces.

The friend wanted to give up, and he complained about why he was so wasteful and insisted on going out to suffer. But every time he vented his emotions, he returned to work and continued to 'be abused'.

Now he has been in the foreign company for more than half a year, relying on his own efforts, he has stabilized his position in the company. There is no so-called success or promotion, only that he has become more calm and steady in his mentality.

Today, he is a perfectly elegant executive, calm and steady in facing difficulties, always focused on his work.

Bridgeford Fund founder Dalio said in 'Principles' : 'Pain + Reflection = Progress.'

Everyone, at the beginning, actually has a sensitive heart.

The difference is that some people reflect on their pain and gain progress through summarizing their experiences. But some people retreat in pain, always clinging to their sensitive hearts.

In the book 'Fragile Resilience', it explains that vulnerable things don't like fluctuations and changes, they only like to stay in safe environments. And resilient things are the more they encounter difficulties, the stronger they become, and the less certain the environment is, the stronger they are.

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The essence of being overly sensitive is that a person lacks refinement, leading to an inflated ego.

At any time, having a strong inner self is just a result, and daring to shatter one's sensitive heart is what you should experience.

Don't overestimate yourself.

The attitude of people around you towards you is fickle, am I having an opinion on them?

Colleagues have a dinner together but didn't invite me, am I offending them?

My boss always criticizes me, does it mean he doesn't like me and always target me?

If you observe carefully, we all have a group of people like this. Rather than saying they are overly sensitive, it's more like a kind of self-righteous nervousness, they are extremely sensitive, like a powder keg, and a little spark will explode.

A colleague named Zhang Peng once encountered such a strange person. Because he graduated from a prestigious university, he was always arrogant and boastful in the project group, causing annoyance among colleagues.

During the project, he would always give suggestions, and if the other person was slow to reply, he would feel that he was not respecting him. What's more, Zhang Peng often posted dynamic information on his WeChat, and that strange person would also come to comment and criticize.

Zhang Peng finally couldn't take it anymore and blocked the person. And at the company, the strange person still insisted on questioning Zhang Peng why he blocked him.

Simply put, these people just overestimate themselves too much. Many people don't want to give up their sensitive hearts, which is because they don't want to lose this illusory sense of superiority.

But in life, overestimating one's position in the eyes of others will easily bring them a lot of disappointment.

I was proud of my minor achievements, thinking I was so great. Then, during a collaboration, I wrote a character article for him, which was my area of expertise.

Unexpectedly, instead of praise, I received a scathing criticism, which made me even more frustrated and sleepless.

Because I overestimated myself too much, and was completely different from him, this contrast caused a great disappointment.

If I hadn't underestimated myself so much, this disappointment wouldn't have happened.

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In management science, there is a law called 'Emotion ABC Theory', which says that because we often have some unreasonable beliefs, we are troubled by emotions. Here, 'sensitive heart' is actually a side effect.

If you stubbornly insist on these unreasonable beliefs, you will cause emotional problems. This is precisely the side effect of a sensitive heart.

To avoid this problem, you can't overestimate yourself.

People's lives are not about being angry, entangled, and anxious. If you don't want to be a slave to emotions, you must say goodbye to your sensitive heart.

To provide three suggestions for your reference:1. Accept Reality:

Everyone's growth is not smooth sailing, we will encounter many difficulties, so we will inevitably experience sensitive hearts being shattered. When sensitive hearts are shattered, blindly avoiding and not facing reality will only make you more painful. You must remember that we can make mistakes in our journey, but you must give yourself another chance to rally.

When you can face reality and transition from emotion to reason, you will have a better mindset. No matter how painful your sensitive heart is shattered, as long as you believe in yourself, you can definitely rally again.

2. Focus Attention:

The more you focus on something that makes you unhappy, the more likely you are to fall into a quagmire and unable to get out.

Life is not about constantly being angry, entangled, and anxious. If you don't want to be a slave to emotions, you must say goodbye to your sensitive heart.

Life is not a 100-meter sprint, but a marathon. When you are tired, take a break. When you encounter things, slow down. After experiencing the difficulties of the moment, you will be better next time.

3. Maintain Your Spirit:

Everyone's spirit is a kind of ambition. When facing difficulties and obstacles, spirit is the guarantee to overcome difficulties.