Letter 4 to My Heavenly Wife: Father's Sacrifice, My Heart Bleeding

My dearest wife, it's the fourth letter I've written to you. This morning at 7:15, I woke up to find that the rain was falling steadily outside, drop by drop hitting my heart. Those memories suddenly surged up. The rain in Shanbei Mountain is always tender and long-lasting, with a hint of coolness, going straight into my heart. The air was filled with a sense of oppression, and soon a torrential rain fell. It's like ten thousand horses galloping together, without a trace of dragging. My dearest wife, have you encountered something you're unhappy about? Are you crying for me? Don't be like that, silly. Just be happy and joyful, and I'll bear all the pain and sorrow alone! Actually, the greatest wish of my husband is to see you happy and playful, cuddling me. Speaking of my husband, I seemed to hear you calling me 'husband' in a soft, delicate voice, and you also started your WeChat messages with 'husband'. My dear wife, I'm so sorry I've cried again, because I can no longer hear you call me 'husband'. My dearest, will it rain in heaven? If it rains in heaven, where will you be? Who will shield you from the rain, wipe away your tears, and hold you and tell you not to be afraid…?

I'll bear all the pain and sorrow alone!

It's the 23rd of March, and in a little over ten days it's the annual Qingming Festival. I originally thought Qingming had nothing to do with me, but this year's Qingming is different. You've arrived ahead of schedule. Seriously, I don't want to go, but I can't help it. For two months, due to my health and other reasons, I haven't been able to go up the mountain to see you. Do you miss me, my dear? My dearest, I beg your forgiveness! From when did I also start to become more and more superstitious? Knowing you won't receive it, I still do it as a form of remembrance. I've been searching online for everything related to Qingming Festival, buying everything needed for remembrance – gold bars, silver coins, mobile phones, and even your favorite food. I bought a whole large box of it to send over. You always refused to spend money, so please use it over there. But you told me in a dream, I'm sending it to you.