Reconfiguration of Friendships
People will make a lot of friends in their lifetime, but only a handful can truly be considered 'close friends.' Looking back, you'll often find that your best childhood friends have become distant, and even when you meet again, the memories are often limited. When reminiscing, you can still gain a sense of nostalgia, but when the conversation shifts, it's common to feel a sense of wistfulness, fearing to damage the friendship or cause awkwardness. You carefully guard your feelings, fearing that the friendship will be compromised. Those former close friends are no longer the companions of today's heart.
Therefore, as people reach middle age, they often reassess their friendships. Due to the growing importance of mental communication, friendship is no longer just a refuge in times of difficulty. In my case, reconnecting with former classmates and colleagues often reveals that casual acquaintances can become genuine friends, and that deep friendships once enjoyed are now difficult to maintain, even resembling strangers. It's said that the best friendships are born in childhood, and I'm starting to doubt this.
As people get older, the way friendships are formed is evolving. Traditional friendships were largely bound by physical space, shaped by unavoidable interpersonal relationships, and sparked by chance encounters. But today's friendships are no longer limited by physical space; people can communicate mentally through virtual space, and find kindred spirits according to the principle of 'people tend to gather together who are similar.'
When professional competition fades and romantic pursuits end, and when 'ultimate meaning' calls to you from the depths of your soul, your perspective on friendship will inevitably change. If a beautiful woman lacks basic aesthetics or has a superficial understanding, even if she's passionate and adoring, it's unlikely she'll form a lasting friendship. Similarly, a former classmate who is successful and frequently gives you gifts may not share your values, making a deep friendship difficult to establish.
My interpretation of 'soulmate' is broad, not limited to romantic relationships. I have many male and female friends, both same-sex and different-sex, with whom I rarely meet in physical space to discuss, but we connect through likes and comments online, and our shared values make us soulmates. Just as we need good company on a scenic journey, and on a journey of spiritual enlightenment, we need good companions to talk to.
The reassessment of friendships doesn't mean abandoning old friends or failing to repay kindness, nor does it mean acting out of convenience or abandoning relationships. It's about re-evaluating the quality of friendships according to new standards of the spiritual world. Some 'friendships' can be 'waved goodbye without leaving a trace,' without regret or wistfulness, ending with mutual understanding and peaceful separation. Other friendships, seemingly like water, appear serene but gradually increase overlapping areas, leading to a deeper connection and elevation to 'soulmate.'
When the clouds of scarcity and lack of resources dissipate, and the need for resource complementarity diminishes, and the worries of mundane life fade away, the reassessment of friendships will be placed on the agenda. High-quality friendships are born from mental connection, and they are both real and illusory, and can be transformed into reality at any time. Like love, only the 'right person' can be your true friend – and that 'right person' is the measuring standard you've accumulated over a lifetime. (Ada)
