Recordings – Life's First Lesson
It's been a long time since I've just been typing randomly on the computer, I hate this kind of weather, and my mood has been frustrated with it. Over the past year, we've all been drifting, striving, and fighting for our dreams, for integrating into this huge family, we've changed. Coming to this big city, I'm living a solitary life, surrounded by friends but no one to confide in, I've gradually learned to be silent.
Rong went home, started a new life in Ningbo. I don't want to think about what will happen to them… Xing went to a city to find memories after studying for four years… Niu Jia is still steady and walking his own path… Old Jia got married, the first one, a simple life is actually good… And me and Meng, we're still lost and confused about the next moment.
The busiest place recently is our group. Xing said, it's the only pure place left. When my mood is good, I'll say a few words, when I'm frustrated, I'll also call a few words. I like watching them bicker, there's no one asking about your boyfriend or girlfriend in here, everyone probably understands, a wounded heart can't be healed, there's no one talking about your work here either, because everyone knows, life is inherently difficult.
How long has it been since I've looked up at the clouds, how long has it been since I've looked down at the flowers by the roadside, how long has it been since I've thought about the person I used to love, occasionally touching memories only brings a sense of helplessness, I don't have the energy to follow, to fight for, I can only give you blessings, I don't want to be a great person, I can't be a great person, I just don't want to add trouble to you.
Many people tell me to quit smoking and drinking, smoking and drinking are easy to quit, but memories are hard to erase, actually, saying 'I can't quit' is just comforting yourself, giving yourself an excuse, letting people agree with my feelings, I don't want to mention my feelings, afraid of getting hurt, hurting myself hurts others, so I'd rather light a cigarette to pretend.
When writing these, there's no logic at all, it's just for fun, but it sparked my memories, memories are a torturous thing…
