It's such a nice saying: 'If no one is willing to shelter you from the rain, learn to run in the rain.'

Adult relationships are increasingly rare and genuine. Society is realistic, without money, no one will look after you, and it's difficult to encounter kind people who will lend you a helping hand. It's also hard to find people who will readily assist you.

People should learn to rely on themselves. It's not about pessimistic feelings, but a positive attitude. Do everything yourself, don't depend on others, if a friend helps you once, it's a matter of gratitude, if no one helps you, it's a matter of self-reliance. When you've overcome your dependence on others, your life will become more successful, even if you're a lone wolf.

Adult breakups are always quiet, without arguments. The feelings between people are changeable, influenced by your changing status and by changes in interests. Adults have their own paths, bitter or sweet, they should taste them themselves, don't seek others for complaints, and don't flatter anyone.

As people age, they become increasingly withdrawn and leave many circles.

Reader Xiao Wei contacted me last week and said, 'If I leave the class group, will my classmates be surprised?' I told him, 'If you are not a successful student, without status or money, leaving the group won't matter. If you have good popularity, classmates will just give you a phone call to ask how you left.' Xiao Wei is in his thirties and has spent many years working in society, still unsuccessful. He is now a hotel security guard with a monthly salary of over 2,000, except for rent and living expenses, there is little left. His wife often complains, 'Why did I marry such a poor man.' Xiao Wei is also troubled, he feels he has not lived up to his family, but he has no skills, wanting to start a business has no money, he can only work and ensure his family is well-off, that's already a hard-won effort.'

Xiao Wei said, 'Last time at the alumni reunion, several brothers who were good friends with me in school heard I was working as a security guard in the hotel, they were surprised at first, then they deliberately ignored me. I know my situation, I don't want to flatter them. It's okay for classmates to have a friendly relationship, but once you step out of school, people change.' I comforted Xiao Wei, 'You shouldn't care too much about relationships with classmates. When you were in school, you might be friends with them, but once you step out of school, people will change......'

Many friendships are destined to be a thing of the past. Childhood playmates, innocent and carefree, everyone played happily together, but as they grew older, they didn't often get in touch. People went their separate ways, and many playmates lost contact. Classmates' relationships, as you step out of school, are destined to change, society is a dye vat, friendships are dyed with different colors. But this process is slow and subtle, so subtle that you may not even notice it or believe it's happening.

When we realize that many past relationships are no longer genuine, we naturally become more withdrawn and leave many circles, we have fewer WeChat groups, and we subtly block messages in groups, avoiding contact.

The distance between people is often silent, disappointed to the point that they don't want to talk.

Many people think that the distance between people is because of arguments and fights before breakups, this is not the case. The real distance is subtle, because they are both disappointed, they don't want to say 'goodbye' either. They don't want to continue the relationship, and saying 'goodbye' would only further hurt each other's hearts. It's better not to say anything.

During a romantic relationship, you try to understand each other, you pursue each other actively. Your actions will impress and infect the other person, love will gradually deepen, two people will get married and build a family. But if two people no longer love each other, they will gradually distance themselves, or one person will become cold-hearted, even the best love can't move him.

If you don't want to associate with friends, they won't say 'Let's break up' in a grand gesture. They often slowly lose contact, eventually blocking each other or not contact for many years. Even if they meet again later, they will just smile and say nothing.

Family relationships are also distant, no one argues or fights, only when there are family matters, they won't notify each other. During the New Year, they won't send gifts. They both know the other's contact information, but they don't call for months. Family relationships are just a formality, a 'guest' during a feast. They represent a blood relationship, but that's all there is to it.

Adults will only argue if they still care about each other and don't want to distance themselves. If they don't want to associate with friends, they won't say 'goodbye'. They won't break up, because breaking up is a difficult thing.

Adults' lives don't have true friends, true friends are often based on mutual benefit. It's rare to find someone who will stick with you through thick and thin. If you're successful, many people will want to associate with you because they want to get something from you or collaborate with you for mutual benefit. If you get a good position, people will associate with you because of your 'position'.

When someone retires, friends will gradually leave. If you fall from wealth to poverty, friends will suddenly disappear. You'll be disappointed and see clearly what 'friendship' really is.

My cousin used to be a manager at a large company. When he was in power, he helped many friends, several young friends were arranged to work in the company. Fifty years old, he was negligent in management and lost millions for the company, he was demoted and became an ordinary employee. That's when those former brothers who called each other brothers pretended not to know him. Several colleagues who worked in the same company even testified against him and 'cut off' the relationship with him. My cousin said he regretted believing friends too much.

'Friends make the road easier,' you make friends, but don't rely on friends.

Author: Bu Yi Chu Shu (Plain Clothes, Simple Food)

Follow my writing, step into your soul.

The text is for reference only.